Welcome to 2019! I hope you had a good rest during the festive season.
Most people make new years resolutions and here’s a couple of tips to make them actually work…..
BE VERY SPECIFIC
Don’t just say “I want to write more this year” – rather say “I want to write one blog a week”. That’s what I mean by being specific. Instead of “I am going to exercise more this year”, be specific and say “I am going to walk with a partner 3 times a week”. Name the partner if you know who it is.
WRITE THEM DOWN
Keeping the resolutions in your head will result in them staying there. You will soon forget about them. Write them down and keep them in a prominent place so that you can keep looking at them.
Don’t sell yourself short by thinking that you might not be able to do it. Rather believe that you can. If you achieve even 70% of your goal you have still succeeded.
At the same time be realistic. If you say, I am going to run the Comrades this year but you don’t even run bath water then rather choose something more realistic by starting off with something you CAN manage. Maybe next year you WILL be able to run the Comrades if you start training now.
Book an online session with me to work through your goals privately. Are you going to let another year pass you by?
I wish you an amazing year filled with everything you wish for yourself. Don’t just wish it, do it!
It’s that time of year again where we start to wind down and have a break from the everyday running around, busyness and routine (at least in the Southern Hemisphere). Whether you are going on holiday or staying at home, here are some tips to have a wonderful rest.
If you spend a lot of your holiday on your phone or computer, even if you are watching movies or playing games, you will find that the holiday disappears before your very eyes and that you don’t feel rested at all. Switch off your technological items as often as possible and do things that require connection with others or me-time when you need. Spend time in nature even if it’s in your own garden or at the park.
Me Me Me Me Me
Families often rely on Moms or Dads for everything and this can be very demanding and tiring. Get family members involved if you have to do housework and make sure you get some time to have long showers, solitary cups of tea, walks in nature and fabulous naps. Swap time to look after the family so that each of you get the luxury of free moments which are so needed.
Linger on the Good
Holiday time can fly by so try to be present as much as possible. Enjoy all the good moments. Be grateful for what you have and for what is going right in your life. Make time for the people that you are with. Find the fun. Hug the trees. Lie on the grass.
Whether it’s your mind or your home, make a little time to declutter so that you can go into 2019 with some fresh space and perspective.
On a budget
If you are on a tight budget and are staying at home, find things to do together that are entertaining. Look online for creative ideas of what to do on a tight budget. You can make your holiday fun no matter what.
I will still be consulting on some days during the holiday period so feel free to contact me.
I wish you a beautiful, restful, peaceful, healthy, fun holiday season.
Life doesn’t always turn out the way we had hoped but it doesn’t mean we can’t still have a life worth living. There are ways to fix things that seem broken.
Let’s take relationships for example. All relationships require that we spend time making them happen. People who live together can be like ships in the night, you see each other in the passage, say good morning and goodnight, maybe even sit together watching tv but you don’t actually spend quality time together.
The first thing to save a situation like this is to NOTICE that it is happening. Once you are aware of the situation you can take steps to make things better.
END IN MIND
Next, decide about how you would like your relationship to be and then work towards that vision.
Take steps to make it happen. Some examples: Take time to hear about each other’s day. Help with the dishes or make a meal together once a week. Buy your partner a small gift (it doesn’t have to be expensive, it’s a gesture to show your partner that you thought about them). Give your partner sincere compliments.
Recognise all the good they do and acknowledge them for it. Everyone wants to be appreciated for the effort they put in.
Have fun together. Do things that you both like doing. Go on dates. Play a song and dance together. Bath the dogs together. Squirt water at each other (keep in mind you must both like water to some extent). Make each other laugh.
Neither of you are going to get it right a lot of the time. Forgive each other for being human and pick it up from where you left off. If there is something huge to forgive then perhaps see someone who can help you do that.
And we are back to the NOTICING again. Notice your partner. Notice when they are sad and let them talk to you or just be there for them. Notice when they are happy and enjoy it and be happy with them. Notice when they need help to hold the ladder. Notice when they can’t open the lid of the bottle.
Relationships are a gift (sometimes it doesn’t feel like it). They are a gift to help us grow, to have connection, to share your life with another person. It’s not something to just let happen. You need to be an active member.
Relationships can be enjoyable, horrible, stressful, amazing, connecting, separating, draining, life giving.
One of the best eye openers to what goes on in a relationship (any relationship) is when there is a power outage. Suddenly, there’s no internet, no WhatsApp, no food to cook, no TV. There’s only candles and LED lights and each other.
To make a relationship work requires that both (but it can start with just one of the couple) makes an effort to connect. The phones and all other technology can so easily get in the way of that.
Here are a few ways to make a change:
Put your phone down when you see a family member coming towards you or when you hear them walking down the passage. It makes them feel wanted and noticed. Give your loved ones a proper greeting when they come home, a hug and a kiss goes a long way to someone feeling loved and appreciated.
Make dinner time a no-phone zone. Even though it’s difficult to get this to happen it reaps benefits. There are so many studies which state the benefits of sitting down together as a family to eat dinner. Maybe that’s your only time together every day so put the phones away.
SOCIAL MEDIA DIET
Facebook, instagram, Youtube are not going to bring you closer to the people you love. Make time to cook together, declutter together, go out for ice cream or walk the dogs. That’s what will build real relationships.
Studies have shown that in marriages that thrive well, a couple spends an uninterrupted 15 minutes together every day. 15 minutes.
This is all very good and well, however, life happens and it doesn’t always go so easily. So forgive yourself when you make a mistake but make it better next time. Forgive your partner for not getting it right too.
Relationships are so necessary to our lives (any type of relationship) yet we often don’t put enough into them. Decide what is important to you and work towards it.
I really think that if people just stopped and realised that:
- We are all the same on the inside….
- We all have needs, problems, sadness, joy,
- We want to live in peace, have a roof over our heads and food on the table,
- We want the best for our children,
- We want to be healthy and well,
- We want people around us to love, and to love us.
…… We would be less angry, less resentful, less pained. We would see others and ourselves with eyes of compassion and be kind to them. We would look after the environment more for the next person and the next generation. People would think twice about being bad to each other and would choose to be good. Because at the end of the day, we are all the same.
So be kind to the next person, let it spread into the world because what this world needs right now is a group hug.
“People defined me by my weaknesses rather than my strengths because my weaknesses were all they heard about when I spoke.” (found on Pinterest).
What we say and think about ourselves makes a difference to how people perceive us. If we believe we are unworthy we behave in a certain manner and talk about ourselves in a negative way to others.
Every person has their hangups but the truth is that we each have so many good qualities and we should start to remind ourselves about them.
We need to focus on our good qualities, our good health, our good character, our strengths and talents and people around us will know us for that because that is what we will communicate to others just by being who we are.