Who is going to love you if you don’t?
When we don’t love ourselves it shows. I have worked in this field for quite a few years now and have aquired a “worthyness radar”. I can usually see straight away if a person does not value themselves enough or feels uncomfortable with themselves. But it’s not only me…. We let off “vibes” or energy and others can see it too even though they may not consciously register it. They may however “act” on it by being mean or taking advantage or ignoring you.
Valuing yourself is a process
If when growing up you had some incidents that repeatedly gave you the impression that you weren’t valuable (and it may have been VERY subtle – or not) you made a decision about yourself that you weren’t valuable or loveable. You started to live your life as such (without realising it of course) and now, look around you…. How are you living your life now? Do you see the effects? You’re still in that space (at least some of the time).
Do you hold yourself back in different areas of life? Do you let people “walk all over you”? Do you give, give give until you are depleted? Do you let people disrespect you? Do you think you are useless or incapable or stupid? Do you withdraw and keep your distance? Do you mostly blame yourself when things go wrong? Are you trying to kick a habit and then give up when you go off track? If you answered yes to some of these then you most likely struggle with valuing yourself.
By loving yourself you can give more of your authentic self to others, you can be who you are and love others for who they are. You can be creative and not blocked. You can binge on chocolates or ice cream and then get back on track straight away instead of giving up. You can sit at a public function and not wish you could fold in on yourself and disappear and wow, maybe even enjoy yourself! You can accept yourself as you are “warts and all” and actually like what and who you are. You can look in the mirror and love and feel compassion for the person who looks back at you. You can stop beating yourself up about being a “bad” mom/dad/child/employee/employer/sibling…… You can enjoy life more.
Do you think I am exaggerating about how important it is to love yourself? If I hadn’t experienced it myself I wouldn’t be writing about it here or teaching next week’s course or trying to convince you to make this year an important one for you.