Do you drive yourself to prove that you are a good person because you want to gain the approval of others?
Here are 7 mistakes people make at work:
- Trying so hard
- Working after hours
- Taking work home
- Saying yes to every request even if you know a fellow colleague who could do the assignment
- Taking the blame for others’ mistakes
- Being a “good girl” or “good boy”
- Feeling hurt when you get moaned at and then berating yourself on top of that
Let’s look at how to rectify these situations:
Trying so hard to please
Yes of course you must work hard otherwise your boss may not value your contribution to the firm but do you have to try so hard to please his or her every whim? Do you find yourself doing more than is necessary and then feeling resentful afterwards? Do your best within the boundaries of your job. Be the best that you can be which doesn’t mean bending over backwards if gymnastics is not your forte. If you find yourself ironing your boss’s shirts when your job description doesn’t call for it, then maybe this area is a problem for you.
Working after hours
Every so often when pressure mounts it is in good form to work after hours. But are you working late every day to prove how loyal and dedicated you are? What you are really doing is building up piles of resentment when your boss starts taking advantage of your benevolence. You probably ask yourself why you keep doing it and thinking it would “look bad” to stop now when you’ve been doing it for so long. Work after hours when it is needed, the rest of the time go and do what you need to do in your own life. If you are always the last to leave, ask yourself why?
Taking work home
Same as above. You are not a superhero although you may wish to appear like one, so take work home when there’s hectic pressure at work but don’t make a habit of it. Nobody ever said on their deathbed (although I don’t have proof for this) “I wish I had worked more”. No! They wish they had spent more time with the people they love.
Saying yes to every request
You know how you really want your boss to be happy with you so you keep saying yes and the piles of work keep adding up? You find you can’t actually get to everything no matter how hard you try. You fear he or she is going to think you are useless at your job. If the work is too much for one person to handle, think of a colleague who would be able to do that task just as well as you can. Stop worrying that he or she may do it better than you for fear that this will show you up. If they do it better than you, that’s one more task you can tick off your list because they will be asked next time as well. Your boss will thank you for it when you get your other work done and your colleague also gets their work done. It’s a win-win situation really.
Taking the blame for others’ mistakes
Why? Let people take responsibility for their own mistakes. On the odd occasion if your department’s “life depends on it” then fine, but otherwise…. NO!
Being a “good girl” or “good boy”
The need to be “good” is derived from our childhood. Getting into trouble when we were kids was probably normal for most of us. But the fear of that still drives many of us to be “good” all the time – don’t step out of line. However, it’s not good for your health if you never speak up. If something is unreasonable at work and you don’t speak up about it, notice how your throat area feels? (tight / like there’s a lump in it / blocked / coughing / thyroid). If keeping quiet is your default behaviour it could affect your health in the long term. If you need to speak up but aren’t sure how to go about it, get advice.
Beating yourself up
So, you made a mistake. Hopefully it didn’t incur a loss of millions. Seriously, I hope it didn’t. If it didn’t and you accidentally did something wrong, then sitting there calling yourself names (stupid / idiot / useless / incapable / unworthy / not good enough) is not going to fix the problem. All it is going to do is mess with your self confidence which makes making more mistakes a possibility. Forgive yourself – after all, you didn’t do it on purpose! Then find a way to sort out the problem, possibly own up to it or get some intra-office support to sort it out. You are human and most likely a good one at that.
Working on these seven tips will hopefully improve your time at work and outside of work.
What other areas do you struggle with at work or out of work? I would love to hear from you.
I wish you well.