The thorns


complaining-roses-have-thornsThe other day I found myself complaining to someone about how much I had to do… all the cooking, cleaning and clearing up, setting up, shopping etc.  I stopped myself in mid sentence when I realised what I was doing and looked at things differently – I had money to shop for food, I had guests to cook for, I have a home to invite people to, I have a family to share it with and I’m really grateful for all of that.

What are our reasons for complaining?
Here are a few:

  • Finding it hard to cope with what is happening
  • Getting sympathy
  • Making conversation
  • Feeling like a victim
  • Feeling jealous
  • Being a martyr
  • Habit
  • Other (add your own)

What is the problem with complaining?
Here are a few:

  • If we complain a lot, we create that which we don’t want in our lives.
  • We become stuck in that reality and find it hard to see the good right in front of us or a way out of our current situation.
  • We avoid responsibility.  If we keep arriving late and complain about the traffic or the queue – i.e. blaming –  we are avoiding making a change to our behaviour.

What can we do?
Some ideas:

  • Being grateful for what we have.  Counting our blessings.
  • Changing our perspective – this would help to find a solution.
  • Changing our habits one step at a time by catching ourselves and making a positive change.
  • Think about what you DO want in your life and talk more about that.
  • Finding a way to solve the problem.

roses-5So, start to look at what is right with your world i.e. admire the roses even though there are thorns.

With love

I found an interesting TED talk about the science of happiness.  It’s 20 minutes long so if you are interested.  Just click to watch.



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