Do you pretend that all is well? How many times does someone ask you how you are and you just say “Fine thanks”. It becomes habitual and half the time the other person doesn’t listen to your response anyway and vice versa. A wise person I know suggested that if you aren’t prepared to engage in conversation don’t ask how the other person is, if you do ask, then listen to their answer and respond.
Most of us pretend – to some degree – about how we are doing. We would rather everything looks hunkie dorie to the outside world because then we are “okay”. If people know that we are struggling then maybe it means we have failed in some way. Well it doesn’t mean that but we think it does.
I don’t believe in spilling our guts to anyone who has ears. Rather we should choose someone who will want to listen or who will be a non-judgemental support. Not everybody is the right person to speak to.
Remember that everyone goes through things. Nobody gets through life unscathed. Yet so many people look fine…. right? That’s because people put on a brave face. If you think that couple a few houses down has a perfect marriage or a member in your community doesn’t have financial worries, you may be surprised to find that they are struggling too and are also putting on a mask, just like you. Even if their financial worries are non existent, they might have other problems they are trying to deal with.
Everyone suffers in some way, people hide the truth from others as a form of protection. Put yourself in their shoes, be kind, you never know what someone else is going through. And for you…. Let yourself be vulnerable by talking to someone you trust so that you can also get the support you need.