So-and-so is important to you and is a really nice person, has lots of good traits but is sometimes a pain in the neck and doesn’t do what you wish they would. You may be tempted to change them only to find that even if they did make some changes, those changes don’t last very long.
The trick to changing someone is….. drumroll …………….
Lori Palatnik (author and speaker) says that children are born with their main personalities in place. If that is true then how much more so for adults who have been living for quite a long time – i.e. they are set in their ways.
When we want someone to change we have to do to them what we want them to do for us. If you want someone to pay attention to you, you need to pay attention to them first. If you want someone to be kind to you, you have to be kind to them first. It may sound annoying to even think that this is the case but it works.
Just try it for two weeks and see the results. Every person in a relationship is a separate entity. Each person comes from their own perspective and believes that they are the wronged or suffering one. If you want change it has to come from you. Then change happens.
Talking doesn’t always work. Action works better.