The Trick to Changing Someone

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carl jung quotes | finding peace of mind | mindfulness techniques | emotional resilience | deal with feelings | acceptance and commitment therapy

So-and-so is important to you and is a really nice person, has lots of good traits but is sometimes a pain in the neck and doesn’t do what you wish they would. You may be tempted to change them only to find that even if they did make some changes, those changes don’t last very long.

The trick to changing someone is….. drumroll …………….

Changing yourself.

Lori Palatnik (author and speaker) says that children are born with their main personalities in place.  If that is true then how much more so for adults who have been living for quite a long time – i.e. they are set in their ways.

When we want someone to change we have to do to them what we want them to do for us.  If you want someone to pay attention to you, you need to pay attention to them first.  If you want someone to be kind to you, you have to be kind to them first.  It may sound annoying to even think that this is the case but it works.

Just try it for two weeks and see the results.  Every person in a relationship is a separate entity.  Each person comes from their own perspective and believes that they are the wronged or suffering one.  If you want change it has to come from you.  Then change happens.

Talking doesn’t always work.  Action works better.

With love
Eve

 

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Eve Marks is a Fulfillment Coach and Artist.

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No Coffee, No Inspiration

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Oprah

Yesterday there was no electricity, no coffee and at the same time no inspiration with a bit of irritability thrown in for good measure.

After a couple of failed attempts at writing my blog I had two choices, either I could be irritable or I could make the most of this time by using it to relax.

I decided to take a break, sit on my bed with a few blocks of chocolate, a snuggly blanket and an enjoyable book.

Weirdly enough as soon as I started to relax I had a title for my blog and was then able to start writing (good old pen and paper).

Sometimes all we need is a change of scenery, a few deep breaths and some self love to get the creative juices flowing again.

After writing and sitting quietly in a comfy place (besides my neighbour’s generator which sounds like a truck), with my pets lying near me and my fluffy blanket around my feet I felt at peace and happier.

Look after yourself, you deserve a break.

With love
Eve