Compromise is not about losing, it’s about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do ~ Donna Martini
In any relationship where two people are trying to make a decision no matter if it’s what furniture to buy, which holiday destination is preferable, when to have children, what to have for dinner…. etc, it’s necessary to compromise so that you can both be happy with the outcome. Of course you are not always going to be happy but in general two people should aim for a win-win situation.
(Obviously deciding what to have for dinner is not such a big issue unless you have specific dietary requirements and your partner insists on going to a place where there’s nothing you can eat).
Giving in too often will lead you to resent the other person and this can result in an unhealthy relationship where you take subtle revenge on each other, perhaps in a passive aggressive way or where you hold back and don’t give your all.
As I discussed in last week’s article every person needs to have their needs met. We all want and need things from the other person and relationships are a matter of give and take. If you are the one who keeps having to give in to make the other person happy you will be constricting your self, making your self smaller and in the long run, unhappy.
Remember, you are important and worthy too.
The aim would be to both be happy so talk about it and come to a compromise that works for both of you, most of the time.
It’s important to know when to bend and when to stand your ground. Often we have to agree to disagree and meet somewhere in the middle. Relationships are about seeing each other and supporting each other’s dreams and values. You shouldn’t have to give up your dreams unless they are illegal or gross.
Check in with yourself that you are not the person insisting on getting your way all the time. It’s important for self growth and for your relationship to notice when you need to work on yourself.
This is work for all of us because relationships are designed to stretch us.
Build each other up and treat each other with respect and care.