The Healing Power of (80’s) Music


Image result for monica and rachel dancingDon’t stop believin… hold on to that feelin – Journey
There’s been a lot going on for me lately and some of it has been quite challenging.  Luckily I am blessed with a resilience that is borne from a place long ago where I don’t allow myself to become depressed.  Sad is okay for me but not depressed.

To those who are reading this who are depressed or who have suffered with depression in the past I am not saying that all depression is a choice, I’m just staying that when I feel very down I am petrified of getting too low to pick myself up again so I don’t allow it and I find a way to get out of that state of mind as quickly as possible and I have tools to help me through.

Today I had some time to myself to work on a book that I’m writing.  I searched You Tube for “the best 80’s cleaning music” – that is music to clean a house to.  When I have chores to do I listen to that kind of music because it’s fun to sing and dance along to.  Because of the music I got a lot done and felt really uplifted and happy.

80’s music is my music, but yours might be completely different.  Music has an amazing ability to heal, whether it’s singing along to sad lyrics when you are feeling broken hearted or dancing along to spiritual music or relaxing to classical music (or jazz). – Choose what makes you happy.

Music is a real boost when days feel pressurised or stressful.  Let me know if you try it and what your favourite music is.

With love


Vital Community


Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it – Helen Keller

What do we do in times of distress?  Last week Monday my husband, an Attorney, was driving out of the basement parking lot from Joburg High Court and as he reached the top of the driveway he was suddenly in the midst of a full blown riot.  Hammers and rocks were being used to hit his car.  Then someone threw a rock through his window, aiming at his head.  Nobody does that just for fun, they were trying to kill him.

The rock went through the window piercing the clingshield, hitting him in the head and face, fracturing his cheekbone in a few places.  With blood streaming down his face and no glasses on he managed to get out of the situation by driving through the crowd to a quiet street where he was helped by some local shopkeepers.

He has been volunteering in the security field for over 20 years and had a first aid kit in his car so he managed to bandage his own head and called some friends in the security business for help.  On the Wednesday he had reconstructive surgery to fix his cheekbone.

What can we do in times of distress?  We can lose hope, we can get depressed, we cry, we get angry…. but if we leave it there that would be a waste.

Staying hopeless, angry and depressed cannot under any circumstances help you.  It can get you sympathy for a while but not too long because people get on with their lives and don’t want to hear about it anymore.

birds of a featherThis is what my experience has been… When you are part of a community people love and care about you.  Your community brings you strength during troubled times, they offer to help even when you didn’t ask – and you can ask.  People brought us meals because they know what it is like to try and live ordinary life when you are running up and down to the hospital.  I didn’t even ask.

While writing this a friend of mine who recently left South Africa sent me a note:  Sometimes the strength within you is not a fiery flame that all can see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly “You got this”, “keep going”.  People offered to come sit with me at the hospital.  Every day people phoned, WhatsApped or visited.

We need community.  It is so important and such an integral part of any recovery.  In Joburg we live behind high walls and electric fences and if we don’t make an effort to be part of a community we can find ourselves alone.

Being part of a community doesn’t mean just sitting there and doing nothing, it means taking part and doing your share. We can all do something no matter what our circumstances are, volunteering our time or our money or our expertise.

If you are not part of a community, look around, find one and become part of one.

Feel the love


Your Silver Lining


silver liningOne day you’ll tell your story of how you’ve overcome whatever you’re going through now.  And your story will become part of someone’s survival guide.

Life can be so hectic sometimes, right?  There are many people going through enormous upheaval, illness, financial problems, relationship crises…. everyone has something difficult to deal with at some time in their lives.

I’ve learned a few things lately….

Support is key
If you try do everything on your own it will be almost impossible to deal with a crisis.  People need people.  It is a completely different experience dealing with a hectic situation by yourself as opposed to speaking to someone and getting it off your chest or getting advice.

Calm down
It may seem like the sewerage has hit the fan but after a day or two (if not sooner), calm down.  When you find a solution to your problem or step one to the solution, you will be able to see some light at the end of the tunnel.  Freaking out doesn’t seem to help.

Do something different
Treating the issue the same way you’ve always treated it is not going to help.  It never did before so why should it now?  Find a new way to deal with the issue – look online for ideas or speak to somebody who is objective.

Be nice
To yourself.  Do some things for you that you need. It’s hard to deal with crises when you are depleted, exhausted and frazzled.

Silver lining
While it doesn’t seem like there is one, there always is one.  Look for that silver lining.  What could the gift be in your situation?  Could you be spending more time with people you love?  Could you be educating yourself on things you didn’t know before?  Could you be building relationships?  Could you be learning new skills?  Whatever it is for you, look for that silver lining because that is going to help you realise that there is a purpose in what you are going through.  It’s not for nothing.

You are a beautiful, capable, strong, creative, wise human being.  Remember that.

With love