The Kite on my Roof

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busy 2The word “busy” has powerful connotations.  When we keep saying we are busy it means we have no space left for anything or anyone else.

We fill our lives with so many activities and there’s no time to just chill.

There are things we want to be doing but we are just too busy.  Usually those things are the most meaningful ones.  Like going to see a play, getting some fresh air at the botanical gardens, doing a good deed, taking the family on a really nice outing or having a long relaxing bath.

When we leave out the things which mean something to us It’s because we haven’t really thought too deeply about it and therefore don’t have proper direction.  When we have direction and intention and know why things are important to us we make place for them in our lives.  Filling our time up with rushing leaves a certain emptiness or frustration within us at the end of the day.*

It’s the same for our children.  I hear some of my children’s friends say that they don’t have time for social arrangements because they are too busy.  How can a child be so busy that they don’t have time to play?  If that’s what is happening to the children then certainly for us as adults it must be worse.  These children are also perpetuating a “busy” value system into their lives and when they are adults they will do the same thing and won’t have time for what is important to them.

The consequence is burnout, depression or physical ailments.

What really fulfills us is meaning, fun, laughter, love, giving, sharing, connection.  We won’t find those things in filling up our days to the brim.  Look at your schedule and see if you can take something out.  Leave time to lie on the grass and look at the birds flitting around in the trees.  The other day I had the amazing opportunity of seeing a bird of prey on my roof (I think it was a kite – click here to see what a kite is).  If I had been on my phone or rushing around doing lots and lots of stuff I would have missed it.

Yes of course there is a lot to do but try and take out something and put yourself and the things which mean something to you into your calendar.  If necessary physically write them into your diary and make them as important as any appointment would be.

There’s freedom to be found here……

With love
Eve

*I will be running the Power of Purpose on Sunday mornings in July and August.  Early bird special ends on 30 June.  Book now.

Getting more Snoozles

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behaviour - path to the seaWhat is it you want?  Choose one thing to work with for now e.g. getting fit, improving a relationship, making money, being on time, washing your car regularly… You name your own.

I’ll choose getting up early as an example to demonstrate.

I want to get up early.  I set my alarm but I keep pressing the snooze button.  So what do I really want?  I want to sleep late of course!

Our behaviour is our real purpose lived out.

What am I doing to prevent myself from getting up early?  Well one thing is getting to bed too late so I’m not acquiring the amount of sleep that my body needs.  I then make up for it in the morning.

If I really want to get up early and it’s important to me then I will make the effort to go to bed at a reasonable hour in order to get the snoozles I need.

behaviour is real purpose lived outNothing happens unless we make it happen. 

Agree?  Disagree?  I would love to hear from you.

May you have a week where you make one small change in the direction want to move into.

With love

Eve
(Insights from the Power of Purpose Course.  Don’t miss it next time!  It is Powerful)

One Small One

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habits-pebblesI decided I was going to work on my self discipline.  Where should I start? – I asked myself.  There are many areas in my life where I want to be more disciplined.

So in October last year I decided to do one thing every day.  I stopped using my phone while getting ready in the morning.  I put it far out of my sight and didn’t get involved in checking my emails, facebook, instagram or watzapp while getting ready.

Doing this one thing every day since October (and I’m still doing it) has helped me to get ready faster in the mornings, be on time for appointments, get more work done and even have a chance to eat breakfast before starting my day.  The amazing thing is that this one aspect of self discipline has spread into other areas of my life for example saying no to the chocolate bar next to the till (just because it’s there doesn’t mean I have to have it).
change-daily-routine
It’s all about creating habits to move forward.

What one small thing can you do every day that will help you in your quest for self enrichment?

I wish you much success.

Your Vision – A Life Hack

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change-rose-budI’ve been reading The Breakthrough Experience by Dr John F. Demartini (non-fiction).  He tells his story about how he made it from being told by his grade 1 teacher that he would never be able to read, write or communicate and that he would never amount to anything…. to becoming a world renowned writer and communicator, having written 40 books so far and talking in most countries around the world for most of the year motivating, inspiring and changing people’s lives.

There’s so much to write about what he says but one of the stories that struck me this past week is about affirmations.  John dropped out of school and left home when he was 14 and when he was 17 he met a 93 year old man who helped him to see his vision for his life which was related to being an orator and speaking to millions of people about universal laws and spiritual healing.  He asked the man (Mr Bragg) how he would be able to actualise his vision if he was practically illiterate.  The man advised him to keep saying to himself (with conviction) every day of his life, for the rest of his life “I am a genius and I apply my wisdom”.  He said that once this affirmation becomes part of every cell in his body, the people around him would start to believe it too and would react accordingly.  He decided then to go back home and learn to read and finish school.  With the help of tutors he received his matric equivalent and wrote University entrance exams.  Two years later he was studying for his calculus exam in the library and one of his classmates asked him if he could study with him.  He said sure and before he knew it there were a whole lot of guys from his class sitting around the table studying with him and asking him questions.  He heard one guy whisper to another guy “That guy John, he’s a genius.  He’s a friggin’ genius”.  After hearing this John suddenly realised with a tear in his eye that his impossible dream was starting to become a reality.

change-energy-you-want-to-attractYou can also have an affirmation for yourself that you say with meaning and intention.  An affirmation that is particularly suited to you.  Say it every day, many times a day until it becomes part of you and then keep saying it.

Your affirmation must resonate with you and fit you.  You can choose your own or I can help you and we can work together to find the one that works best for you related to your specific circumstances.

Wishing you a week of building yourself (and others) up.

One small step or one giant leap

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purpose-one-small-stepYou can spend all your time wishing for something but unless you actually put a step into motion nothing will happen.

It all starts with imagination which is the beginning of something possible happening. After the idea you will need to have the intention of making it happen.

Intention though is not enough on it’s own because an intention without action is just a daydream.

Whatever your goals are, let them be realistic.  It’s better to set a goal to exercise once a week than in your excitement saying you will exercise every day because small movements forward are much more likely to be followed through.

Know yourself when you set your goals.

In the Power of Purpose course (starting next Tuesday in Johannesburg) we go into depth with goals, dreams, intentions, action, what’s stopping us and how to change that.  We also look at deeper intentions and purpose for our lives.  I highly recommend it.

Wishing you a week of taking small steps in a positive direction.  I would love to hear from you so let me know how it goes.

 

Decisions Decisions!

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decision-signsFor some of us making decisions is extremely difficult and can paralyse us into doing nothing or lie down staring at the ceiling and talking in tongues ;).  From something important like choosing a career to something small and innocuous like choosing what to cook for your guests for dinner.  How do we decide what to do?

I was listening to Rabbi Tatz’s lecture on decision making and here are some ideas he shared.  I thought they were on point and useful.

When you have to choose between two things for example two job opportunities (we should all be so lucky) but can obviously only take one, which one will you take?

Divide your page into two columns.  In one column write JOB 1 and in the second column write JOB 2.  Under each column write the pros and cons of each job.  (Yes this sounds basic but wait……).

Now, next to each pro and con, put a score out of 10 (see my example below).  10 means it appeals to you and will make a positive difference to your life, 1 means it does not appeal to you and will make a negative difference to your life.

JOB 1 JOB 2
PROS CONS PROS CONS
Tea lady brings drinks throughout the day
4/10
1 hour drive in peak hour traffic
2/10
Fancy coffee machine in a sociable area
6/10 (love fancy coffee)
45 minutes drive in peak hour traffic
4/10
The staff seem quite nice
7/10
The office I will get has no window
4/10
The staff seem motivated and professional
7/10
The office I will get I have to share with someone who has strong political ideas 2/10
Good salary
8/10
Not much responsibility
5/10
Excellent salary
10/10
There’s a lot of badmouthing among co-workers
3/10
The hours are 9 – 5

7/10

High turnover of staff
2/10
I would be responsible for 5 people which would be good for my growth and CV
8/10
The hours are 9 – 5 but it’s expected for you to work overtime without extra payment
4/10
26 13 31 13
Total 39 Total 44

decision-scalesAfter this evaluation, according to Rabbi Tatz, you would choose the highest total which is JOB 2.  Obviously you would go into more depth with the pros and cons – I have only typed up a few examples.

Now here comes something interesting that he says…. If both of them add up to an equal number i.e. 50/50, you just choose any one.  You can even flip a coin because in reality they are both equally good for you.  That one was a “wow” to me.

Did you find this helpful?

Wishing you a good decision making week.

Eve

Waiting for Friday

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waiting-for-fridayI remember when I was in my 20’s and I was thinking about having a baby……  My husband and I were worried that we wouldn’t be able to afford all the new expenses and thought we should rather wait until we could afford it.    One of the ladies at my work at the time said to me “You will never be ready…. If you wait until you are ready you will never have children”.  I took her advice to heart and am so glad and blessed that I did.

I have a friend who hardly ever went swimming because she wanted to wait until she was thin.  I thought she looked quite lovely but she didn’t accept herself.  When her kids were young she used to sit on the side of the pool and wouldn’t join them because she was too self conscious.  She missed out on all those cool and fun moments!

On a Monday people complain about it being Monday and can’t wait until Friday.  What about finding a way to make the whole week meaningful or enjoyable?

I’ll start my exercise programme on Monday.  Umm… what about today?  🙂

Waiting for things to be better first is counterproductive.   What happens if things never turn out the way we hope they will?

There are so many challenges that people have in life – be it illness, finances, relationships, etc.so why not take those challenges and find a way to accept them and make them work for us?

happy-lamaI think acceptance is the main building block that we need in order to move forward.  Without acceptance, we can’t move on.

Challenge your inner beliefs.  If you think things have to be a certain way first, ask yourself if that belief will serve you.  Beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world around us are not always true.  For example “I have to be very helpful all the time otherwise people won’t like me”.
How will you know if you haven’t experimented with saying no sometimes?
Perhaps some of your friends will leave you but those are the ones who were using you in the first place.

Try this:

Let go of your expectations of how life is supposed to be.  Accept what is.

  1. Make a choice to thrive despite the challenges.
  2. Look for ways to thrive.  Write down lots of ideas.
  3. Pick one and start doing it.

Sometimes it helps to have a coach who can help you sort through these questions in your life, it’s good to have an objective point of view.

May you have a week in which you are not waiting for Friday.

With love

Eve