Standing here, reflecting about my year, worrying, was I good enough? Did I do enough? Was I kind? Was I gentle? Did I reach my expectations of myself? Did I fail? Thinking about the times I messed up.
Where to from here?
It’s important to also look at where I did go right. Where I was kind, where I was gentle, where I helped out, where I reached a goal, where I looked after myself or others, where I gave, where I brought a smile to someone’s face, where I went out of my way.
It helps with self forgiveness and being real about who I am as a human.
Now to grow.
These days so much happens without effort that it takes effort to move.
- Lifts our mood and can be as effective as medication for depression (says Harvard medical research).
- Improves circulation and thereby increases energy – go figure.
- Boosts the immune system.
- If you are struggling to concentrate or your body is sore from sitting too long, moving around does wonders and can get you back on track.
- Helps with digestion because it keeps the muscles in our digestive system working well and releases toxins through perspiration.
- Moving with someone (e.g. walking) improves relationships and increases the happy chemicals in your brain, leaving you on a high even if you have only walked for a short time.
There are so many different ways to move – dancing, cycling, nia, ballet, climbing stairs, martial art, walking, running, housework, boxing, gym, yoga plus many more. If you don’t have a huge budget then walking or running are great because all you need is a pair of shoes.
I read somewhere that Social Scientists have found that as more people take to the streets, neighbourhood crime rates fall and the local economy improves. If that is true then we have a responsibility here people! (Lol)
Walking with your children promotes better communication, reduces behaviour issues and improves academic performance (that’s also from Harvard medical research).
Moving helps us to live more comfortably in our bodies and minds.
It’s self care.
“The Difference between pretty and beautiful is that pretty is temporal whereas beautiful is eternal” – from the book Sefirot by Rabbi Y Haber.
The world is so obsessed with physical beauty that it becomes a lifelong struggle for many people to meet those expectations. Magazines, movies, the Internet and books espouse a certain standard of physical beauty and if you don’t meet that standard there is something sub-standard about you. This is so wrong.
Aging is also an adjustment because our looks deteriorate out of our control which can be especially hard for people who have natural physical beauty unless they learn to love themselves with the stuff that comes with aging.
We all have our different genes and everybody was created uniquely. To be happy within ourselves we need to appreciate and approve of ourselves (and others).
We are all beautiful and the more we do to make the world a better place the more our beauty shines out. If you spend time with someone even for a short period of time you can notice their beauty so brightly that you can be filled with love or joy just looking into their eyes.
Let’s worry less about being pretty and more about being ourselves, bringing out our essence into the world and touching others with that.
Here’s hoping you will experience the beauty in yourself and others this week.
When you feel lost and alone stop and think about this: there are billions of cells in your body and all they care about is you.
Doesn’t that make your day better?
And if it doesn’t, the picture of the meerkats should.
Elie Wiesel wrote, “The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference.”
Apparently there are have been scientific studies which prove that the brain registers as physical pain when a person is being ignored. I have read a couple of articles on it but I don’t have the scientific sources. If it is true though, why do we feel so much pain at being ignored and what can we do about it?
Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but the silence is really saying a lot. It’s also a way to inflict pain without fighting. It’s a type of passive aggressive behaviour.
When someone ignores you how do you feel? Angry? Hurt? Irritated? Sad?
When we are ignored we start to think all sorts of things about ourselves such as:
- They don’t like me
- I’m unloveable
- People always ignore me
- I am invisible
- Fill your own in here ………………
These type of thoughts and beliefs we have create the pain we feel.
What can we do?
Ask yourself questions. For example:
- Is it true that I am invisible? (No it’s not because if you turn to someone and ask them they will verify that you are visible to them).
- Is it true that they don’t like me? (Well unless you ask them you will never really know).
- Do I need to care that they don’t like me? (Well do you?)
- Can I be myself no matter what? (It may be hard but chances are you can give yourself the permission to be yourself).
- If someone ignores me am I unloveable? (No.)
Affirm yourself with words of love:
- I am a loveable, visible human being.
- My worth is not measured by these particular people.
- There are people who take notice of what I say.
The bottom line is that yes, being ignored is hurtful but it doesn’t mean you are not a beautiful, worthy human being. You just need to remind yourself of that and try not to let others affect your beliefs about yourself and the world. Keep in mind that we inflict this kind of pain on others too and it is good to be aware of our own behaviour and to rectify it in some way.
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3 weeks ago I was happily walking the dogs when I stepped into a hole and twisted my ankle. I tore a ligament and have since been on crutches and in a moon boot. Firstly I want to praise the inventor of the moon boot because it allowed me to be reasonably mobile at home.
Last week I was finally able to go shopping. First I went to Moishes butchery (while my hubby who had dropped me there went to buy dogfood) and I was standing in the queue when I saw that the teller looked at my foot and was frowning. When I got to her till she said to me that I shouldn’t have waited in the queue, next time I should just come to the front of the queue. She then called the security officer to take my packets to the car for me which he duly did.
My hubby then dropped me at Woolies in Norwood and I was quite sure I would manage on my own and would catch an Uber back home. While looking at the fresh produce a tall, gentle looking staff member named Bafana offered to push my trolley for me while I shopped. I was so taken aback and felt very grateful for his offer but decided to do it myself as I knew that I would probably take quite long and didn’t want to use up his time. It was actually quite challenging as I had to push the trolley with my tummy and it’s quite awkward reaching for items and then putting them in the trolley while walking with both crutches. Bafana came to check on me halfway through my shopping and told me he really wanted to help me and suggested that I ask him next time. My hubby fetched me as he had already finished all he had to do while I was in Woolies! I told you I would take long.
Even though I could have relied on those people and it probably would have been wiser to do so, I was tired yet elated when I got home. I was so amazed by the kindness of these strangers. They had genuine care in their eyes. It did not seem to be just a matter of being a good employee, they sincerely wanted to be of help.
I had to take a backseat these three weeks and let other people do things for me which is harder than you would think. Sitting back and letting others do the work is not my default setting. I would like to thank my family for making me feel comfortable and allowing me the time I needed to heal. I have written to the shops to praise their staff members and hope that they get recognised in some way.
The kindness of strangers happens more than we think. Let’s spread stories of kindness as much as possible. I think we all need a little bit of sun.
Wishing you well
Someone wrote to me the other day and mentioned that they are struggling to take the next step in their life because they are not confident and feel as though they are not clever enough.
What makes a person clever enough?
There are billions of people in the world. Some are more clever and some are less clever but if we feel inferior then we will always look at the ones who are more clever than us and compare ourselves to them (which of course makes us believe we are stupid). What does this do to help us move forward in life?
You are cleverer than you think, more beautiful than you believe, more capable than you can imagine. If you allow your old messages of not being good enough to dictate your life then you will struggle to move forward. It’s time to leave those limiting beliefs behind you and fulfill your potential.
If this is something you find hard to do on your own I can help you with this.
I wish you well.