A Bad Day

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You know those days where one or two things go wrong and it brings you down and it feels like your whole day was awful?

Well we often center in on the thing that happened and wallow in our misery.  We even milk it by telling everyone who will listen to us about what a bad day it was.

bad dayIn reality most times it’s is just the incident itself that was bad and not the whole day but we tend to let that one incident bring us down for the rest of the day.We sometimes use the “bad day” as an excuse to treat people badly as if others should suffer too for our misfortune.

We lose hours of happiness by focusing on the bad day which was probably only 5 minutes or half an hour.

So let’s not minus too much time from the 1140 minutes that we have gifted to us everyday.  It goes so quickly.

With love
Eve

Fulfillment Coach and CEO of Good Moodles

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Siri, remove my make up

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movement stretchingThese days so much happens without effort that it takes effort to move.

Movement…..

  • Lifts our mood and can be as effective as medication for depression (says Harvard medical research).
  • Improves circulation and thereby increases energy – go figure.
  • Boosts the immune system.
  • If you are struggling to concentrate or your body is sore from sitting too long, moving around does wonders and can get you back on track.
  • Helps with digestion because it keeps the muscles in our digestive system working well and releases toxins through perspiration.
  • Moving with someone (e.g. walking) improves relationships and increases the happy chemicals in your brain, leaving you on a high even if you have only walked for a short time.

There are so many different ways to move – dancing, cycling, nia, ballet, climbing stairs, martial art, walking, running, housework, boxing, gym, yoga plus many more.  If you don’t have a huge budget then walking or running are great because all you need is a pair of shoes.

I read somewhere that Social Scientists have found that as more people take to the streets, neighbourhood crime rates fall and the local economy improves.  If that is true then we have a responsibility here people! (Lol)

Walking with your children promotes better communication, reduces behaviour issues and improves academic performance (that’s also from Harvard medical research).

Moving helps us to live more comfortably in our bodies and minds.

It’s self care.

With love

Eve

 

Mundane Elevated

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washing dishes singingOrdinary tasks can seem meaningless and suck the joy out of our day.  We run around, busy busy busy, driving, shopping, cleaning, cooking.  At night before going to sleep it may seem like we got nothing done but here’s the thing…..

When you shop, you bring food into the house.  Your family has something to eat and it keeps them alive.

Driving your children to and from school and extra murals keeps them safe and you might even get some time to chat.  Fetching a friend or relative who can’t drive is an act of kindness.

When you cook you feed those you love, nurturing them, keeping them alive and healthy and you may even get some opportunities to be creative.

Monday mornings might not always be the best but if you can get up knowing that you are providing for your family it makes going to work more of a breeze.

All this may seem obvious but we sometimes forget that what we are doing counts.

There are ways to make ordinary tasks more fun.  Play some music or listen to a podcast.  Find someone to join you  sometimes.  Turn your task into a game or a personal challenge.  Change your mindset from “I have to do this” to “I choose to do this because (why)………………………”.

Cooking, cleaning, driving and working, nurture and actually save lives.  It may sound exaggerated and dramatic but it’s true.  All these seemingly mundane tasks are far more important than we give them credit for.

When you go to sleep at night you can be proud of what you have done today.

With love
Eve

Becoming Satisfied

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helpful kids 3One of my most well read blogs was the one called “The Trick to Changing Someone”.  People are often dissatisfield with the people they are with or with what they are doing and are hoping that there is a magic formula to change them.

How can we become more satisfied with the people we are with? 

  • Think about the person that you would like to change.
  • Think of what bugs you about them.
  • Do you feel better now?

I doubt it.

Let’s try again.

  • Think about the person that you would like to change.
  • Think of what you like or love about them (there has to be something…. it could be their left eyebrow).
  • Think of what they do for you.  It’s best to write this down for when you need it again.

This last one is tricky.  Often we are so blinded by how irritated we are with the person that we don’t realise what they do for us.  It could be something small and hardly noticeable for example when there is an office party your colleague always brings you a piece of cake; maybe your partner always takes the spoon out of your coffee cup because he/she knows you don’t like to stab yourself in the eye; maybe you hardly notice that your spouse warms up the baby’s food for you without you asking; maybe your teen fills your hot water bottle for you when you ask him; maybe your Housekeeper prepared the veggies for supper because she knew you would be home late.  I could put a hundred examples here of tiny things people do for us that we usually take for granted.

Yes….  they also take you for granted and if you focus on that then you are not going to improve your relationship.  You could talk to them about that but in the meantime if you have a list of what they do for you and why you like or love them you will be able to have a positive outlook and more loving feeling towards them when you are in their space and this gives you the motivation to work on the relationship.

Why does it have to be me who always makes the changes you may ask?  Relationships weren’t designed to be flawless, perfect things.  They can help us grow into strong, loving, kind human beings or bitter and twisted people who hate.

People (secretly or not secretly) need to be recognised for what they do and if we ignore what they do for us neither of us benefit.  Let’s take notice of what people do for us (no matter how small) and remember to thank them for it.  When you recognise and appreciate someone they are likely to do more.

Thank you for reading my blog, it makes it worth writing.

Wishing you the best

Eve

No Coffee, No Inspiration

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Oprah

Yesterday there was no electricity, no coffee and at the same time no inspiration with a bit of irritability thrown in for good measure.

After a couple of failed attempts at writing my blog I had two choices, either I could be irritable or I could make the most of this time by using it to relax.

I decided to take a break, sit on my bed with a few blocks of chocolate, a snuggly blanket and an enjoyable book.

Weirdly enough as soon as I started to relax I had a title for my blog and was then able to start writing (good old pen and paper).

Sometimes all we need is a change of scenery, a few deep breaths and some self love to get the creative juices flowing again.

After writing and sitting quietly in a comfy place (besides my neighbour’s generator which sounds like a truck), with my pets lying near me and my fluffy blanket around my feet I felt at peace and happier.

Look after yourself, you deserve a break.

With love
Eve

Valentines Perspective – Love or Chocolates

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Valentines day background with champagne and roses

Once a year Valentine’s day comes around and there’s huge pressure for those who celebrate it.  Singles feel sad or desperate, boyfriends and husbands are expected to make sure that they remember their significant other with expensive gifts and large gestures, flowers cost the earth, even children at school who don’t receive a valentine’s card feel lost and alone.  People have expectations about how romantic the day is going to be and then are often disappointed by the displays received and are sometimes even devastated when their partner forgets.  Fights ensue.

Yes of course people should celebrate the love they have for each other and if you love Valentine’s day you are going to hate this article.  Historically it doesn’t have very savoury or romantic beginnings (google it) but has been marketed to become a money making bonanza.

One of my pet peeves is the way Valentine’s Day is marketed.  Everything is Red and Black.  I mean what is that?  If you walk past any shop there is bound to be a display of red or black lingerie or red chocolates or red mugs with “be my Valentine” printed on them.  Yes, red is traditionally the colour of love or hearts but is it not possible to have cutsie pajamas with a lovey-dovey message in a pretty blue?  It’s not advertised as love, it’s actually advertised as sex.

If you love your significant other then neither of you should be waiting for the 14th of February to display your love for one another.  Relationships need to be constantly nurtured.  Almost every day couples need to respect each other, think of how the other one feels before they speak or act, give their partner a treat (like rub their shoulders or bring them a cup of coffee), say words of love, give positive touch, appreciate one another, look into each other’s eyes, talk.

People get caught up in the busyness of every day life and these days technology adds to the problem.  People are on their phones a lot and so extra effort needs to be made to bring each other together, to put those phones down, to switch off the tv or close the laptop and talk to each other.

Valentine’s day is just a day on a calendar.  Buy your partner some chocolates or flowers this week.  Shake it up a little.  Both men and women need to be treated and feel appreciated.  Try and have a date every week – it doesn’t have to be expensive and can even be at home.  If you are single do something fabulous for yourself… often, not just once a year.

You are worthy of receiving (and giving) love the whole year round.

With love
Eve