Who to thank?

There are people who do things for us all the time but do we always notice it?

I wrote a letter to my coach this morning, she is an amazing woman who has helped me grow tremendously this year.  Yes, even a coach needs a coach. I am so grateful to her for all she has done, her generous spirit, her love, humour and acceptance.  I am also grateful to G-d for the syncronisity in putting us together.  It has really been a wonderful (and sometimes daunting) experience and so worthwhile.   My coach is taking an extended break and so our time together is over for now and I wanted her to know how valuable she has been to me.

There is someone in your life who you may want to express your thanks to.  It may be someone who quietly changes your life for the better.  It may be someone who makes you happy just by being in their presence.  It may be someone who loves you exactly as you are.  It may be someone who brightens up your day.  It may be someone who you can confide in, someone who you feel safe with.  It may be someone who does the same thing every day without you asking.

Let them know.

With love
Eve

Advertisements

The Puppy and the Plans

I stayed up on Sunday night carefully planning my week so that I could be very productive and get a lot done.

At about 4:30 on Monday morning I woke up to the puppy crying and scratching on her box to be let out.  This was the second time during the night that she had woken up, the previous time was before midnight when I had been asleep for an hour or so.  She has been with us for only a few days and we are all trying to adjust to having a baby (albeit a dog) in the house.  She went out into the dark and cold to go and do her business all by herself and came straight back. She’s only 8 weeks old!  I put a warm water bottle into her bed and comforted her a bit until she went back to sleep.  My older dog is a late sleeper and doesn’t take too well to being woken up before dawn but he comes to check on her anyway with a soft growl telling her to go back to sleep.  It’s honestly adorable watching these two (although not so much at that time of the morning while trying not to wake up the entire household with the commotion).

I went back to sleep at about 5:15 and my alarm woke me at 6:30 only to find that I had a headache which would last me until the next day.  I walked into the kitchen feeling a bit like a zombie and realised that I had a lot of washing up to do after my children’s party on Sunday and didn’t feel like it at all and hadn’t added it into my diary.

I could see my plans for the day beginning to evaporate like steam off the road after a summer rain.

So what I decided to do was take it one step at a time.  Take pain killers, lie down, do a few dishes, work a bit, and then repeat most of the above steps.

Basically I took it slowly and went according to what the reality was and not what I had hoped it would be.  We can plan to our heart’s content but when things don’t work out we have an opportunity to practise being flexible and letting go of our expectations.

By the end of the day although I hadn’t done everything I had wanted to do my day was still good and I did manage to fit in a few of my diary entries.  I scheduled the rest into other time slots for the week.  Even though I had a headache, I actually landed up having a chilled, enjoyable day.

Wishing you a satisfying week.

With love
Eve

Only 90 times!

When I saw this quote I had a moment of shock.  If we have the opportunity to live to 90 or above, let’s use 90 as an example… then we only have 90 times to do a year.  It may seem obvious to you but to me it was one of those aha moments that Oprah talks about.  Only 90 times to try it over.  Only 90 times to do whatever it is I’m trying to do. That’s so little!  If I only have 90 times I want to make those times count.  Keeping in mind we don’t all get 90 times.

This post is not meant to be morbid, it’s meant to wake us.

What do I want to be doing?

Some people have a bucket list, I prefer to call mine “exciting things to do in my life at some stage” list but those things might take years to achieve.  So I have a “meaningful priority list” which is for everyday use (it’s not necessarily written down).  I feel frustrated with myself if a day ends and I haven’t done at least one thing in my “meaningful priority” list.

What have I done today to be proud of?

I think the key for me is to look at what is important in my life and to make sure I do one or some of those. I learned some skills on the Power of Purpose in this regard (click for more info).

Yes, our days are often filled with seemingly meaningless or routine tasks like sitting in traffic, cleaning up, standing in queues.  That’s the way it is.  However, if we see them as meaningless they will be.  But if we can somehow figure how to put them into our “meaningful priorities” list we can change them and the way we feel about them.

How can we do this?

We can gripe and groan about standing in the queue or we can make conversation with a fellow queue member or use the time to text a friend who is in need of some love.  We can hate the traffic or we can use it as a time to listen to a really good podcast or some favourite music or greet the people along the way with a smile making their days – and by the way, making someone else’s day often makes yours.

We can sit watching movies or series to switch off from our restlessness (which is really our soul saying “hey, let’s do something”) or we can make watching a movie a real treat now and then.  We can include our children while cooking even though the cleaning up afterwards will take much longer.

Let’s make the most of each year we have because it’s not just a year, it’s an opportunity, a chance.

Let’s start with today…. We don’t have to wait until the 1^st of January.

With love
Eve

In this moment I start afresh

Every breath is a new beginning.

Breathe.

There….now is a new beginning.

Breathe.

Now is a new beginning.

Breathe.

Repeat.

Every moment is an opportunity to renew ourselves

It’s liberating to know that we can make mistakes and carry on.  We can say the wrong things and apologise, make amends.  We can eat food that we know gives us physical pain and start again in the next moment – we don’t have to wait until tomorrow or Monday.  We can start a new project even if we think we would fail at it.  We can speak to someone beautifully now even if yesterday we spoke to them in a less than becoming way.  We can try again to drop our old habits that we find difficult to release.  We can forgive ourselves for being impulsive and let go to start afresh.  Each moment is a time to start anew and recommit.

What have you done that you would like to renew or restart?

Breathe.

What would you like to do in the future?  What is it you really want in the different facets of your life?  How do you think you will go about doing it?  What keeps stopping you?

Breathe.

Those crisps I ate the other night, kept me up with indigestion.  The smoke you inhaled reminded you of why you wanted to quit.  When you said something embarrassing and exposed yourself in a way that you regretted, how long did it take you to get over it?  When I was late for an appointment again I criticised myself and felt tense in my urgency.

Be honest with yourself.

Breathe.

Each moment is new.  You can recommit and start again with every breath.

With love
Eve

 

---

The Power of Purpose

Six session course in Personal Effectiveness

 

• More to Life Mentors: Eve Marks and Leslie Shapiro
• How many: Small group of no more than 15 people so book soon to avoid disappointment.  Deposit of R550 confirms your place.
• Dates: Tuesday evenings 16 August to 20 September
• Venue: TBA but either in or close to Glenhazel, Johannesburg.
• Time: 18h15 to 21h30
• Who can attend: Anyone over the age of 18

• Fee: Only R2600! includes a manual and refreshments – it works out to only R145 per hour! Payment plan available.
• Early bird special price: is R2200 if you book with a deposit before 19 July!  That works out to only R122 per hour and saves you R400!  Payment plan available.

The Twins who Washed my Car

About two weeks ago I was having my car washed.  It had been raining that morning and so the normal car washers had gone home leaving two petrol attendants to wash all the cars in the queue.  My son and I sat there waiting for our car to be washed for what seemed like two hours (but could have been one) because I had already paid and I really needed my car to be clean that day.

 

I didn’t have cash on me for a tip so I bought a small packet of biscuits for the guy at the quick shop.  Towards the end another man started helping him and I realised I didn’t have a gift for him.  When they were finished I explained that I had only bought one packet of biscuits  and the man said “it’s okay, we will share”.

Car Wash Fun Selfie

When I was thanking them the one man told me that they were twin brothers.  He said, “our blood is the same”.  He added “If he feels sad, I know he’s sad because I can feel it.  Even if my brother is in Cape Town and he’s sad, I can feel his sadness”.

Wow! I loved that he shared that with me.

An Invisible connection

What these brothers have is a true and beautiful connection.  Not only twins get this although I imagine it must be very strong within them.

There are times when I’m thinking about someone and next thing I unexpectedly see them in the shop or they watzapp me or give me a call.  If I think of someone more than twice I make contact with them.  I think we all have invisible lines that connect each other, especially the people we are closer to.  Instead of ignoring the feelings, I like to act on them.

Firstly it maintains the connection between the two of us and secondly maybe they just need someone right now to light up their day.

If you are too busy though you may not pick up on these subtle communications, so try and find some time in your day to slow down or better yet – stop.

Intention for Connection

It takes effort to keep up connections, especially when we may have hundreds of watzapp or facebook people on our lists.  Sometimes I scroll down my contact list and say hi to some people I haven’t spoken to in a long time.   It’s worth the effort, even if it’s just to brighten someone’s day.

The sun will come out

Who are you thinking about right now?

*****

Photos by Author