Rummaging through the Jumble


clutter minimalismDo you ever feel like you have nothing to wear yet you have plenty of clothes?  It’s probably because you have too many clothes and a lot of them you don’t really like or don’t wear for various reasons.  Why keep these things?

Have you noticed that when your home is cluttered, your world feels a bit overwhelming too?  I think it’s because our home, cupboards, car, handbags etc. often mirror part of our lives.

It’s no surprise then that when we declutter we feel lighter.

Have you heard yourself saying “I will need it someday” – but do you ever get to use it?  I’ve found that when I need that “thing” I’ve been saving for all these years, I can’t find where I put it anyway and then land up buying a new one.

How does clutter make you feel?  When I look at my clutter I feel uncomfortable and restless.

When you introduce new items into your life, you immediately associate value with these items, making it harder for you to give them up in the future. This psychological connection to things is what leads to the accumulation of stuff.*

When you see various parts of your home that are cluttered, ask yourself why you are keeping these things.  What are you holding on to?  It can be very difficult to let go of our possessions.  There’s apparently a place in our brain that lights up when we experience the pain of letting go of the things we own.*

Give the clutter a name.  When you look at the pile of stuff or the wardrobe that is too congested, give a name to it.  e.g. Chaotic, busy, overloaded, stuck, ugly, messy etc.  Do those words conjure up parallels in your own life?

What am I getting to here?  Perhaps just to be aware that our clutter is more than just a pile of stuff, it has emotional connections too.  You may even be holding on to old emotional baggage.  An idea would be to look at what you can let go of and see if you feel lighter and more free when you do.

With love

*Mikael Cho, How clutter affects your brain and what you can do about it.




Choking to conform


harry potter drawing.jpgMy husband didn’t want to wear a tie to work because he’s had a cough for a few weeks and fastening a tie around his throat was making him gag.  He had to be in court yesterday so a tie it had to be.  He tried everything in his power to avoid it.  Even wearing his scarf like a tie so that his neck would be warm without feeling choked.  In the end he took a tie with him in his briefcase in case the Magistrate insisted on it.

Being a lawyer, he has to conform to the dress code when appearing in court.  A tie and a long Harry Potter style cloak is what he has to wear or the court won’t “recognise” him as being present in Court.

So in rebellion, the tie he packed into his bag was his Garfield tie 🙂

tie 1

In real life though (not in court) there are times when we don’t want to conform but do anyway because we are too scared of the consequences which could be – being ostracised, ridiculed or rejected.

We see it with children, wanting a phone because everyone else has one, or wanting to wear brand names for fear of not fitting in.  But the truth is we don’t necessarily grow out of it – depending on how we feel about ourselves as human beings.

You are freer than you think you are.

My husband has to fit in (by wearing a tie and cloak) when he’s in court or he won’t be recognised as actually being present, it’s that simple.  But we (who don’t have to do such things) often put ourselves into situations where we limit ourselves based on what we think others think about us.  We don’t realise that we are freer than we think we are.  (Wow that’s a lot of thinking!) Learning to accept ourselves as we are and with what we’ve got (even if it comes from a supermarket and not from an exclusive boutique) is something to aim for.  It’s not only about what we are wearing, it’s about our educational qualifications, our home, our furniture, our car, our looks, our outward achievements.

Get out of jail free

get out of jail free.jpg

You are the only one who can free yourself from your own self-unacceptance.  Perhaps you need some help or guidance but only you can make the decision to move forward.

When you do, you will be much more at ease when you are around others.  You will feel more comfortable in social situations.  You will be able to stand up for yourself more often.  You will find it easier to set **boundaries.

Stop choking on the tie….

With love


**Brene Brown’s talk on You Tube about Boundaries, Empathy and Compassion (5:53 min), a worthwhile watch.

Gratitude of the day – I want to thank Makeitultrapsychology blog who helped increase my followers by allowing me to promote my blog. Thanks! (click here if you want to see their helpful blog).