Recovery from Drudgery

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change your own world - barbwire turning into birdsSteve Jobs said:  “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, don’t settle.”

So how do you do great work if you don’t love what you do?

Find a way to love or at least like a part of it. Here are a few ideas.

* Have a purpose for what you are doing.  Decide what it is you are going for – (If you haven’t done the Power of Purpose course you may wish to consider it as an option).
* Write a list of what you like about your work – maybe it’s the people or the coffee or the view out of your window or the organising.
* Write a list of what you dislike about your job.  Now take that list and try and find ways to change a few of them.
* Why are you doing what you are doing?  Your answers may give you clarity.
thoughts - there is always a way* If you are struggling with relationships at work consider getting a coach to help you through.
* Make a difference in someone else’s life at work.  Giving of yourself to others – even if it’s a pleasant smile or a heartfelt ear – builds you up as well as being pleasurable.
* If you have an opportunity to work towards what you really want in your life then set a goal and start working towards it.   The best time to begin was 5 years ago but if you didn’t, then begin now.

Keep in mind that even if you start off doing what you really love, it can still become drudgery and “just a job” if you don’t add purpose to it.

Wishing you well

Eve

Your Vision – A Life Hack

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change-rose-budI’ve been reading The Breakthrough Experience by Dr John F. Demartini (non-fiction).  He tells his story about how he made it from being told by his grade 1 teacher that he would never be able to read, write or communicate and that he would never amount to anything…. to becoming a world renowned writer and communicator, having written 40 books so far and talking in most countries around the world for most of the year motivating, inspiring and changing people’s lives.

There’s so much to write about what he says but one of the stories that struck me this past week is about affirmations.  John dropped out of school and left home when he was 14 and when he was 17 he met a 93 year old man who helped him to see his vision for his life which was related to being an orator and speaking to millions of people about universal laws and spiritual healing.  He asked the man (Mr Bragg) how he would be able to actualise his vision if he was practically illiterate.  The man advised him to keep saying to himself (with conviction) every day of his life, for the rest of his life “I am a genius and I apply my wisdom”.  He said that once this affirmation becomes part of every cell in his body, the people around him would start to believe it too and would react accordingly.  He decided then to go back home and learn to read and finish school.  With the help of tutors he received his matric equivalent and wrote University entrance exams.  Two years later he was studying for his calculus exam in the library and one of his classmates asked him if he could study with him.  He said sure and before he knew it there were a whole lot of guys from his class sitting around the table studying with him and asking him questions.  He heard one guy whisper to another guy “That guy John, he’s a genius.  He’s a friggin’ genius”.  After hearing this John suddenly realised with a tear in his eye that his impossible dream was starting to become a reality.

change-energy-you-want-to-attractYou can also have an affirmation for yourself that you say with meaning and intention.  An affirmation that is particularly suited to you.  Say it every day, many times a day until it becomes part of you and then keep saying it.

Your affirmation must resonate with you and fit you.  You can choose your own or I can help you and we can work together to find the one that works best for you related to your specific circumstances.

Wishing you a week of building yourself (and others) up.

Closing the Gap

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What is the word that actually describes your life?  What is the word you wish described your life?  How are you going to get closer to the life you wish for?

In order to write this for you I had to make it personal so that you would glean from my example.  So  here goes….

The word that describes my life right now is swamped.  How would I like it to be?  Flowing.

Funny that both those words have reference to water.  Swamped feels exactly as it sounds, bogged down, difficult to get out of, overwhelming, too much to do.  Flowing is peaceful, things going according to plan, doing what feels right, not taking on too much, dancing movements, glittering beauty (okay, I’m getting carried away because I really want to be on holiday right now).

Firstly it’s important to note that the words that I have used to describe my current state are all beliefs.   Are they true?  Well not really.   They are just thoughts, a state of mind.  If I believe my life is overwhelming then it really seems overwhelming and then that’s what it is.  Overwhelming.  Too much to do?  How do I know how much is too much to do?  This may be hard to comprehend right now but believe me, it is very freeing when you are able to differentiate between the truth and what you think is the truth.  I had a look at some pictures of swamps and believe me that is not what my life looks like (thank G-d) – but I have been thinking it is!

How am I going to close the gap?

I will look in my diary when something comes up and  I will ask myself if it is necessary, if it is doable, if it is something I really want or if I am doing it for other reasons such as people pleasing or fame and fortune.

I will make extra time for traveling in my diary.  Sometimes I forget to do this and then find myself rushing from place to place because I haven’t added the traveling time into my day.  It is so much more peaceful when I can drive to place and sing at the same time instead of sweating from the stress of trying not to be too late.

I will forgive myself for being human.  If I set a certain amount of goals and can only reach a few of them, I will remind myself that I am human and can only do so much.  If I overburden myself with negative criticism it’s no wonder I believe I’m overwhelmed because not only am I rushing and not managing to fulfill my expectations of myself but I am also adding harsh words to the mix.

I will make time for the things that are a priority in my life.  Sometimes we forget what we are aiming for.  We lose sight of our purpose.  If I refocus I will be able to say no to invitations that come up and only choose the ones that talk to my higher purposes.

I will make time for myself to relax.  How can I even do any of the above if I don’t make time to relax and nurture myself?  That means making proper food and not eating on the run, spending time lying or walking on the grass, having naps, going out on a date with myself (now and then), treating myself like I would treat anybody else, with courtesy and kindness.

Wishing you a beautiful week of seeing what’s really happening in your life and making steps to close the gap.

I would love to hear the words you chose and some of your ideas on how you are going to close your gap.

With love
Eve

 

 

Please Like my Facebook page @evemarkshealing

 

Only 90 times!

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purpose - 90 years and call it life When I saw this quote I had a moment of shock.  If we have the opportunity to live to 90 or above, let’s use 90 as an example… then we only have 90 times to do a year.  It may seem obvious to you but to me it was one of those aha moments that Oprah talks about.  Only 90 times to try it over.  Only 90 times to do whatever it is I’m trying to do. That’s so little!  If I only have 90 times I want to make those times count.  Keeping in mind we don’t all get 90 times.

This post is not meant to be morbid, it’s meant to wake us.

What do I want to be doing?

Some people have a bucket list, I prefer to call mine “exciting things to do in my life at some stage” list but those things might take years to achieve.  So I have a “meaningful priority list” which is for everyday use (it’s not necessarily written down).  I feel frustrated with myself if a day ends and I haven’t done at least one thing in my “meaningful priority” list.

What have I done today to be proud of?

I think the key for me is to look at what is important in my life and to make sure I do one or some of those. I learned some skills on the Power of Purpose in this regard (click for more info).

Yes, our days are often filled with seemingly meaningless or routine tasks like sitting in traffic, cleaning up, standing in queues.  That’s the way it is.  However, if we see them as meaningless they will be.  But if we can somehow figure how to put them into our “meaningful priorities” list we can change them and the way we feel about them.

purpose - elderly couple eating ice creamHow can we do this?

We can gripe and groan about standing in the queue or we can make conversation with a fellow queue member or use the time to text a friend who is in need of some love.  We can hate the traffic or we can use it as a time to listen to a really good podcast or some favourite music or greet the people along the way with a smile making their days – and by the way, making someone else’s day often makes yours.

We can sit watching movies or series to switch off from our restlessness (which is really our soul saying “hey, let’s do something”) or we can make watching a movie a real treat now and then.  We can include our children while cooking even though the cleaning up afterwards will take much longer.

Let’s make the most of each year we have because it’s not just a year, it’s an opportunity, a chance.

Let’s start with today…. We don’t have to wait until the 1st of January.

With love
Eve

Babe, you got this xx

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When you are trying to do something challenging in your life for example sticking to an exercise routine or a new way of eating (or any other habit) and you keep slipping back into old habits then this one is for you.

One of the crucial elements of sticking to any sort of new habit is support.  You’ve probably tried this before and yet you find yourself sleeping in instead of going for a walk or hitting the gym.

I remember when I was on an intensive art course for a few years (a while back) and we had to hand in hundreds of sketches, numerous completed drawings and a fair amount of large drawings with board frames.  I was working full day and studying part time and it was quite difficult to come home after work, cook, clean and complete my art work and still find time to relax.  What helped me get through at the time was having support partners.  My husband and my close friend.  My husband would help me keep accountable by sometimes watching tv or reading where I was drawing or he would remind me about my goal to finish what I had started.  My friend supported me by loving my art and encouraging me even if I didn’t love it.  We would sometimes lug my art equipment to her house and I would draw while we all spent time together.  Good times.

Does it make sense to you that sometimes we just need someone who will be on our side, someone who will remind us about why we started, someone we can phone or text when we “just don’t feel like it” and want to give up?

When choosing a support partner, let it be someone who would be kind yet firm.  Discuss what  you want from them beforehand.  If you want them to push you, explain how you would like it to be done.  For me a Seargent Major type would push me into rebellion rather than motivate me.  Set boundaries from the beginning.  For both of you – maybe your support partner doesn’t want to be woken at 3 a.m. because you are dying for ice cream in the fridge and don’t want to ruin your hard work.

Don’t think you have to do it all yourself.  We are social creatures.  Sometimes the person who is always there for someone else needs someone to be there for them.  Are you feeling guilty for receiving support?  Your support partner may need your help one day too.  You are worthy of support.

Choose someone who gets you.  There’s no point choosing support that doesn’t agree with what you are doing and will constantly criticise you along the way.

Hang in there.  Goals take perseverance to achieve – ask anyone who reached theirs.

I wish you the best with your goal.  Let us know how this advice helped you reach it.

Eve
 


If you live in Johannesburg, don’t forget to register for the Power of Purpose which starts on the 16th of August

Nothing happened!

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writerQuestion 1:  If you didn’t have to worry about money what type of work would you do?

I know a great person with creative ideas who loves books and knows he has an amazing book inside him just waiting to come out but he hasn’t written one page!

I would like to win a million rand in the lottery but I hardly ever buy a ticket.

When we think and think and think about doing something but don’t act on it – NOTHING HAPPENS.

Question 2 … Is it something you could actually do?

What is stopping you?  Are you thinking that you could never do it?  Are you thinking that you are not good enough?  Not worthy?  Incapable of ever being a success?

Now that I’m in my late 40’s I’m finding more and more that I want to do things that I haven’t ever acted on.  I’m saving up for those singing lessons.  But let me tell you that when I do start to take those  lessons I have actually no care about if I will ever “succeed” in the eyes of others.  I’m not trying to be a famous singer, I just want to learn the skill and breathe well and have fun.  I want to sing for me.

I do hope that great man writes his first page of his novel, and then the next and then the next.  He doesn’t have to make millions out of it, that’s not the point.  The point is to say to himself “I did what I always dreamed I would do”.

Don’t think, think, think and think that you can’t do it or it couldn’t happen for you.  What’s life for if not to experience?

Live as if money isn’t an object when it comes to starting to realise your dreams.  If money is tight right now and you’ve always wanted to be an artist, buy a pencil and a drawing pad and start.  Or paint with one or two colours of ink using a cotton bud.  Don’t let your inhibitions and self judgement stop you.   If you want to be a tennis player but can only afford one lesson a month, find a teacher who will accommodate you and practise against your garden wall.

So what if you don’t become the next world champion….. just be a champion to yourself for starting.

With love

Eve


 

Click here for a step up towards your dream…….

 

The Stumbling Dance

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dance 3When you fall, make it part of the dance

I’m guessing that’s what dancers learn when they have to perform.  I’m not a dancer (except for what I do in my kitchen) but I think it’s a helpful tip even for life.

Sometimes things go wrong and there’s nothing we can do about that.  Life is far from perfect (if perfect is even a thing).

My 11 year old will come home from school and tell me he has had the worst day.  I ask him what was wrong about it and he says “everything! It was just an awful day.”  When we analyse the day it turns out there was one incident that turned the whole day bad.  I’ve seen this with adults as well.  We tend to dwell on what was “bad” and our whole day feels bad.

If things aren’t going well with a particular project or a relationship, we can choose to give up or be depressed or we can make it part of the dance of life.

How do we do we make it part of the dance?dance

Re-look at things and try and reframe them.  It always helps to have a listening ear, someone who can be objective and honest yet empathetic at the same time.

Find solutions

You may have to start again or go with a different angle.  You may have to apologise or find creative ways to mend your relationships.  You may have to fix something that’s broken.  You may have to build yourself up again.

There is usually a solution to every problem.  I’m not suggesting it will be easy but the situation is rarely hopeless.  It becomes hopeless when we believe it is hopeless.

What we believe becomes our reality.

Stumbling, we all do.  The trick is to make it part of the dance so that it doesn’t stop you.

Wishing you strength.

Eve

p.s. My course “The Power of Self Value” will start on Tuesday evening 24 May. Booking ends this  Friday at 15:00

 Photo and Drawing borrowed from the web.