Welcome to 2019! I hope you had a good rest during the festive season.
Most people make new years resolutions and here’s a couple of tips to make them actually work…..
BE VERY SPECIFIC
Don’t just say “I want to write more this year” – rather say “I want to write one blog a week”. That’s what I mean by being specific. Instead of “I am going to exercise more this year”, be specific and say “I am going to walk with a partner 3 times a week”. Name the partner if you know who it is.
WRITE THEM DOWN
Keeping the resolutions in your head will result in them staying there. You will soon forget about them. Write them down and keep them in a prominent place so that you can keep looking at them.
Don’t sell yourself short by thinking that you might not be able to do it. Rather believe that you can. If you achieve even 70% of your goal you have still succeeded.
At the same time be realistic. If you say, I am going to run the Comrades this year but you don’t even run bath water then rather choose something more realistic by starting off with something you CAN manage. Maybe next year you WILL be able to run the Comrades if you start training now.
Book an online session with me to work through your goals privately. Are you going to let another year pass you by?
I wish you an amazing year filled with everything you wish for yourself. Don’t just wish it, do it!
So how do you do great work if you don’t love what you do?
Find a way to love or at least like a part of it. Here are a few ideas.
Wishing you well
I’ve been reading The Breakthrough Experience by Dr John F. Demartini (non-fiction). He tells his story about how he made it from being told by his grade 1 teacher that he would never be able to read, write or communicate and that he would never amount to anything…. to becoming a world renowned writer and communicator, having written 40 books so far and talking in most countries around the world for most of the year motivating, inspiring and changing people’s lives.
There’s so much to write about what he says but one of the stories that struck me this past week is about affirmations. John dropped out of school and left home when he was 14 and when he was 17 he met a 93 year old man who helped him to see his vision for his life which was related to being an orator and speaking to millions of people about universal laws and spiritual healing. He asked the man (Mr Bragg) how he would be able to actualise his vision if he was practically illiterate. The man advised him to keep saying to himself (with conviction) every day of his life, for the rest of his life “I am a genius and I apply my wisdom”. He said that once this affirmation becomes part of every cell in his body, the people around him would start to believe it too and would react accordingly. He decided then to go back home and learn to read and finish school. With the help of tutors he received his matric equivalent and wrote University entrance exams. Two years later he was studying for his calculus exam in the library and one of his classmates asked him if he could study with him. He said sure and before he knew it there were a whole lot of guys from his class sitting around the table studying with him and asking him questions. He heard one guy whisper to another guy “That guy John, he’s a genius. He’s a friggin’ genius”. After hearing this John suddenly realised with a tear in his eye that his impossible dream was starting to become a reality.
You can also have an affirmation for yourself that you say with meaning and intention. An affirmation that is particularly suited to you. Say it every day, many times a day until it becomes part of you and then keep saying it.
Your affirmation must resonate with you and fit you. You can choose your own or I can help you and we can work together to find the one that works best for you related to your specific circumstances.
Wishing you a week of building yourself (and others) up.
What is the word that actually describes your life? What is the word you wish described your life? How are you going to get closer to the life you wish for?
In order to write this for you I had to make it personal so that you would glean from my example. So here goes….
The word that describes my life right now is swamped. How would I like it to be? Flowing.
Funny that both those words have reference to water. Swamped feels exactly as it sounds, bogged down, difficult to get out of, overwhelming, too much to do. Flowing is peaceful, things going according to plan, doing what feels right, not taking on too much, dancing movements, glittering beauty (okay, I’m getting carried away because I really want to be on holiday right now).
Firstly it’s important to note that the words that I have used to describe my current state are all beliefs. Are they true? Well not really. They are just thoughts, a state of mind. If I believe my life is overwhelming then it really seems overwhelming and then that’s what it is. Overwhelming. Too much to do? How do I know how much is too much to do? This may be hard to comprehend right now but believe me, it is very freeing when you are able to differentiate between the truth and what you think is the truth. I had a look at some pictures of swamps and believe me that is not what my life looks like (thank G-d) – but I have been thinking it is!
How am I going to close the gap?
I will look in my diary when something comes up and I will ask myself if it is necessary, if it is doable, if it is something I really want or if I am doing it for other reasons such as people pleasing or fame and fortune.
I will make extra time for traveling in my diary. Sometimes I forget to do this and then find myself rushing from place to place because I haven’t added the traveling time into my day. It is so much more peaceful when I can drive to place and sing at the same time instead of sweating from the stress of trying not to be too late.
I will forgive myself for being human. If I set a certain amount of goals and can only reach a few of them, I will remind myself that I am human and can only do so much. If I overburden myself with negative criticism it’s no wonder I believe I’m overwhelmed because not only am I rushing and not managing to fulfill my expectations of myself but I am also adding harsh words to the mix.
I will make time for the things that are a priority in my life. Sometimes we forget what we are aiming for. We lose sight of our purpose. If I refocus I will be able to say no to invitations that come up and only choose the ones that talk to my higher purposes.
I will make time for myself to relax. How can I even do any of the above if I don’t make time to relax and nurture myself? That means making proper food and not eating on the run, spending time lying or walking on the grass, having naps, going out on a date with myself (now and then), treating myself like I would treat anybody else, with courtesy and kindness.
Wishing you a beautiful week of seeing what’s really happening in your life and making steps to close the gap.
I would love to hear the words you chose and some of your ideas on how you are going to close your gap.
When I saw this quote I had a moment of shock. If we have the opportunity to live to 90 or above, let’s use 90 as an example… then we only have 90 times to do a year. It may seem obvious to you but to me it was one of those aha moments that Oprah talks about. Only 90 times to try it over. Only 90 times to do whatever it is I’m trying to do. That’s so little! If I only have 90 times I want to make those times count. Keeping in mind we don’t all get 90 times.
This post is not meant to be morbid, it’s meant to wake us.
What do I want to be doing?
Some people have a bucket list, I prefer to call mine “exciting things to do in my life at some stage” list but those things might take years to achieve. So I have a “meaningful priority list” which is for everyday use (it’s not necessarily written down). I feel frustrated with myself if a day ends and I haven’t done at least one thing in my “meaningful priority” list.
What have I done today to be proud of?
Yes, our days are often filled with seemingly meaningless or routine tasks like sitting in traffic, cleaning up, standing in queues. That’s the way it is. However, if we see them as meaningless they will be. But if we can somehow figure how to put them into our “meaningful priorities” list we can change them and the way we feel about them.
How can we do this?
We can gripe and groan about standing in the queue or we can make conversation with a fellow queue member or use the time to text a friend who is in need of some love. We can hate the traffic or we can use it as a time to listen to a really good podcast or some favourite music or greet the people along the way with a smile making their days – and by the way, making someone else’s day often makes yours.
We can sit watching movies or series to switch off from our restlessness (which is really our soul saying “hey, let’s do something”) or we can make watching a movie a real treat now and then. We can include our children while cooking even though the cleaning up afterwards will take much longer.
Let’s make the most of each year we have because it’s not just a year, it’s an opportunity, a chance.
Let’s start with today…. We don’t have to wait until the 1st of January.
When you are trying to do something challenging in your life for example sticking to an exercise routine or a new way of eating (or any other habit) and you keep slipping back into old habits then this one is for you.
One of the crucial elements of sticking to any sort of new habit is support. You’ve probably tried this before and yet you find yourself sleeping in instead of going for a walk or hitting the gym.
I remember when I was on an intensive art course for a few years (a while back) and we had to hand in hundreds of sketches, numerous completed drawings and a fair amount of large drawings with board frames. I was working full day and studying part time and it was quite difficult to come home after work, cook, clean and complete my art work and still find time to relax. What helped me get through at the time was having support partners. My husband and my close friend. My husband would help me keep accountable by sometimes watching tv or reading where I was drawing or he would remind me about my goal to finish what I had started. My friend supported me by loving my art and encouraging me even if I didn’t love it. We would sometimes lug my art equipment to her house and I would draw while we all spent time together. Good times.
Does it make sense to you that sometimes we just need someone who will be on our side, someone who will remind us about why we started, someone we can phone or text when we “just don’t feel like it” and want to give up?
When choosing a support partner, let it be someone who would be kind yet firm. Discuss what you want from them beforehand. If you want them to push you, explain how you would like it to be done. For me a Seargent Major type would push me into rebellion rather than motivate me. Set boundaries from the beginning. For both of you – maybe your support partner doesn’t want to be woken at 3 a.m. because you are dying for ice cream in the fridge and don’t want to ruin your hard work.
Don’t think you have to do it all yourself. We are social creatures. Sometimes the person who is always there for someone else needs someone to be there for them. Are you feeling guilty for receiving support? Your support partner may need your help one day too. You are worthy of support.
Choose someone who gets you. There’s no point choosing support that doesn’t agree with what you are doing and will constantly criticise you along the way.
Hang in there. Goals take perseverance to achieve – ask anyone who reached theirs.
I wish you the best with your goal. Let us know how this advice helped you reach it.