If you believe something about yourself, it’s bound to eventually come true. For example, from a young age I would look at the other girls in the class and believe that I was so much bigger than them and therefore fat and therefore unattractive. Before we go on let’s get this out the way now…. I don’t believe that being fat equals unattractive. But I used to. And it applied to me. When I look back on the memory of when I made this decision about myself I can actually see in front of me the girl that I compared myself to. She was one of the thinnest girls in the class! When I look back on photos of that time – I was 11 years old – I had an average size figure and a sweet face.
But in my MIND I was fat. Because I had made up my mind that I was fat I started (without realising it) becoming what people call fat. I say that because I am not fat, I have fat on my body. That’s two different things. Do you get it? We believe that we are the label. The label could be rich, poor, unwell, frail, weak, sad, angry, anxious, helpless, failure, unemployed, old, (add yours …………………………). Once we decide that we are the label we become the label.
Other people also give us labels or they see our labels and just verbalise them. For example: John is an angry person. Why do we hold on to these labels? Why don’t we change them to what we want them to be? Well… we believe them for one. There are also payoff’s to keeping the label – if John is angry people are scared of him and he keeps on being angry because that’s how he gets to stay in control because when he was growing up he felt weak or helpless in his situation and so being angry helps him stay strong. Once we are comfortable with our label (and by the way we don’t realise we are until we work with it) it’s hard to let go of it. It also takes some strength looking at yourself and asking what you are getting out of it.
What is the solution? It’s not a quick fix really….. it takes looking at what is really happening for you and working through it. Healing the wounds from the past and changing the labels. Making new ones.
You can have any label you want actually. Why not choose it?