Getting more Snoozles

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behaviour - path to the seaWhat is it you want?  Choose one thing to work with for now e.g. getting fit, improving a relationship, making money, being on time, washing your car regularly… You name your own.

I’ll choose getting up early as an example to demonstrate.

I want to get up early.  I set my alarm but I keep pressing the snooze button.  So what do I really want?  I want to sleep late of course!

Our behaviour is our real purpose lived out.

What am I doing to prevent myself from getting up early?  Well one thing is getting to bed too late so I’m not acquiring the amount of sleep that my body needs.  I then make up for it in the morning.

If I really want to get up early and it’s important to me then I will make the effort to go to bed at a reasonable hour in order to get the snoozles I need.

behaviour is real purpose lived outNothing happens unless we make it happen. 

Agree?  Disagree?  I would love to hear from you.

May you have a week where you make one small change in the direction want to move into.

With love

Eve
(Insights from the Power of Purpose Course.  Don’t miss it next time!  It is Powerful)

Your Vision – A Life Hack

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change-rose-budI’ve been reading The Breakthrough Experience by Dr John F. Demartini (non-fiction).  He tells his story about how he made it from being told by his grade 1 teacher that he would never be able to read, write or communicate and that he would never amount to anything…. to becoming a world renowned writer and communicator, having written 40 books so far and talking in most countries around the world for most of the year motivating, inspiring and changing people’s lives.

There’s so much to write about what he says but one of the stories that struck me this past week is about affirmations.  John dropped out of school and left home when he was 14 and when he was 17 he met a 93 year old man who helped him to see his vision for his life which was related to being an orator and speaking to millions of people about universal laws and spiritual healing.  He asked the man (Mr Bragg) how he would be able to actualise his vision if he was practically illiterate.  The man advised him to keep saying to himself (with conviction) every day of his life, for the rest of his life “I am a genius and I apply my wisdom”.  He said that once this affirmation becomes part of every cell in his body, the people around him would start to believe it too and would react accordingly.  He decided then to go back home and learn to read and finish school.  With the help of tutors he received his matric equivalent and wrote University entrance exams.  Two years later he was studying for his calculus exam in the library and one of his classmates asked him if he could study with him.  He said sure and before he knew it there were a whole lot of guys from his class sitting around the table studying with him and asking him questions.  He heard one guy whisper to another guy “That guy John, he’s a genius.  He’s a friggin’ genius”.  After hearing this John suddenly realised with a tear in his eye that his impossible dream was starting to become a reality.

change-energy-you-want-to-attractYou can also have an affirmation for yourself that you say with meaning and intention.  An affirmation that is particularly suited to you.  Say it every day, many times a day until it becomes part of you and then keep saying it.

Your affirmation must resonate with you and fit you.  You can choose your own or I can help you and we can work together to find the one that works best for you related to your specific circumstances.

Wishing you a week of building yourself (and others) up.

Closing the Gap

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What is the word that actually describes your life?  What is the word you wish described your life?  How are you going to get closer to the life you wish for?

In order to write this for you I had to make it personal so that you would glean from my example.  So  here goes….

The word that describes my life right now is swamped.  How would I like it to be?  Flowing.

Funny that both those words have reference to water.  Swamped feels exactly as it sounds, bogged down, difficult to get out of, overwhelming, too much to do.  Flowing is peaceful, things going according to plan, doing what feels right, not taking on too much, dancing movements, glittering beauty (okay, I’m getting carried away because I really want to be on holiday right now).

Firstly it’s important to note that the words that I have used to describe my current state are all beliefs.   Are they true?  Well not really.   They are just thoughts, a state of mind.  If I believe my life is overwhelming then it really seems overwhelming and then that’s what it is.  Overwhelming.  Too much to do?  How do I know how much is too much to do?  This may be hard to comprehend right now but believe me, it is very freeing when you are able to differentiate between the truth and what you think is the truth.  I had a look at some pictures of swamps and believe me that is not what my life looks like (thank G-d) – but I have been thinking it is!

How am I going to close the gap?

I will look in my diary when something comes up and  I will ask myself if it is necessary, if it is doable, if it is something I really want or if I am doing it for other reasons such as people pleasing or fame and fortune.

I will make extra time for traveling in my diary.  Sometimes I forget to do this and then find myself rushing from place to place because I haven’t added the traveling time into my day.  It is so much more peaceful when I can drive to place and sing at the same time instead of sweating from the stress of trying not to be too late.

I will forgive myself for being human.  If I set a certain amount of goals and can only reach a few of them, I will remind myself that I am human and can only do so much.  If I overburden myself with negative criticism it’s no wonder I believe I’m overwhelmed because not only am I rushing and not managing to fulfill my expectations of myself but I am also adding harsh words to the mix.

I will make time for the things that are a priority in my life.  Sometimes we forget what we are aiming for.  We lose sight of our purpose.  If I refocus I will be able to say no to invitations that come up and only choose the ones that talk to my higher purposes.

I will make time for myself to relax.  How can I even do any of the above if I don’t make time to relax and nurture myself?  That means making proper food and not eating on the run, spending time lying or walking on the grass, having naps, going out on a date with myself (now and then), treating myself like I would treat anybody else, with courtesy and kindness.

Wishing you a beautiful week of seeing what’s really happening in your life and making steps to close the gap.

I would love to hear the words you chose and some of your ideas on how you are going to close your gap.

With love
Eve

 

 

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Oh my gosh that sky!

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I love lists and I found an amazing site called “Things we like” where people write a list of 10 things they like and then post it on the site.  The 10 things have to be very detailed for example it can’t just be “I like my cat” it must be more like “I love the comforting feeling I get when my cat purrs when I hold her”.  Have a look at the site, it’s a treat.  https://listsofthingswelike.com/

This site of lists got me thinking (of course).  It’s really about being present with our gratitude.

If we are present at least a few times a day and really observe the things that are happening we can experience so much more joy.
Here’s my list of 10 things:

  1. The feeling of my cat lying under the blankets with me and resting her head on my arm.  It’s a bonus if she’s purring.
  2. A boiling hot shower in winter just before bed or a cool refreshing one in summer – basically a shower before bed.
  3. Lying on the grass under the trees in my garden, my dog at my side – no noise just the birds and the leaves rustling.
  4. Clouds, especially white whispy ones that look as though the sky was painted just for me.
  5. When my family are sitting together talking or playing a game and I’m suddenly present, looking at them and seeing each person with their unique qualities.
  6. The look on someone’s face when I have made a difference to their day.
  7. The sweet smell of jasmine flowers which signify that spring is coming soon.
  8. As I arrive in Braamfontein from Jan Smuts avenue and see the colourful buildings and the Nelson Mandela bridge in the distance – I just don’t get sick of it and I see it twice a week!Braamfontein
  9. When I get feedback on my blog it’s a real thrill to know that people are reading it and getting something out of it (no pressure).
  10. The way I feel so refreshed after an afternoon thunderstorm in summer

I’ve decided I’m going to start 30 days of gratitude challenge.  Each day I’ll post it on Facebook – have a look at my facebook page and I hope you’ll join in.  It will be fun to bring us home to what we have and to even notice that we have it.

Today’s gratitude challenge:
What smell are you grateful for today?

I’ll be happy to share some of your replies on next week’s blog if you like.  Remember to like my Facebook page (it’s called @evemarkshealing) in order to get the daily gratitude prompts.

With love

Eve

Only 90 times!

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purpose - 90 years and call it life When I saw this quote I had a moment of shock.  If we have the opportunity to live to 90 or above, let’s use 90 as an example… then we only have 90 times to do a year.  It may seem obvious to you but to me it was one of those aha moments that Oprah talks about.  Only 90 times to try it over.  Only 90 times to do whatever it is I’m trying to do. That’s so little!  If I only have 90 times I want to make those times count.  Keeping in mind we don’t all get 90 times.

This post is not meant to be morbid, it’s meant to wake us.

What do I want to be doing?

Some people have a bucket list, I prefer to call mine “exciting things to do in my life at some stage” list but those things might take years to achieve.  So I have a “meaningful priority list” which is for everyday use (it’s not necessarily written down).  I feel frustrated with myself if a day ends and I haven’t done at least one thing in my “meaningful priority” list.

What have I done today to be proud of?

I think the key for me is to look at what is important in my life and to make sure I do one or some of those. I learned some skills on the Power of Purpose in this regard (click for more info).

Yes, our days are often filled with seemingly meaningless or routine tasks like sitting in traffic, cleaning up, standing in queues.  That’s the way it is.  However, if we see them as meaningless they will be.  But if we can somehow figure how to put them into our “meaningful priorities” list we can change them and the way we feel about them.

purpose - elderly couple eating ice creamHow can we do this?

We can gripe and groan about standing in the queue or we can make conversation with a fellow queue member or use the time to text a friend who is in need of some love.  We can hate the traffic or we can use it as a time to listen to a really good podcast or some favourite music or greet the people along the way with a smile making their days – and by the way, making someone else’s day often makes yours.

We can sit watching movies or series to switch off from our restlessness (which is really our soul saying “hey, let’s do something”) or we can make watching a movie a real treat now and then.  We can include our children while cooking even though the cleaning up afterwards will take much longer.

Let’s make the most of each year we have because it’s not just a year, it’s an opportunity, a chance.

Let’s start with today…. We don’t have to wait until the 1st of January.

With love
Eve

Babe, you got this xx

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When you are trying to do something challenging in your life for example sticking to an exercise routine or a new way of eating (or any other habit) and you keep slipping back into old habits then this one is for you.

One of the crucial elements of sticking to any sort of new habit is support.  You’ve probably tried this before and yet you find yourself sleeping in instead of going for a walk or hitting the gym.

I remember when I was on an intensive art course for a few years (a while back) and we had to hand in hundreds of sketches, numerous completed drawings and a fair amount of large drawings with board frames.  I was working full day and studying part time and it was quite difficult to come home after work, cook, clean and complete my art work and still find time to relax.  What helped me get through at the time was having support partners.  My husband and my close friend.  My husband would help me keep accountable by sometimes watching tv or reading where I was drawing or he would remind me about my goal to finish what I had started.  My friend supported me by loving my art and encouraging me even if I didn’t love it.  We would sometimes lug my art equipment to her house and I would draw while we all spent time together.  Good times.

Does it make sense to you that sometimes we just need someone who will be on our side, someone who will remind us about why we started, someone we can phone or text when we “just don’t feel like it” and want to give up?

When choosing a support partner, let it be someone who would be kind yet firm.  Discuss what  you want from them beforehand.  If you want them to push you, explain how you would like it to be done.  For me a Seargent Major type would push me into rebellion rather than motivate me.  Set boundaries from the beginning.  For both of you – maybe your support partner doesn’t want to be woken at 3 a.m. because you are dying for ice cream in the fridge and don’t want to ruin your hard work.

Don’t think you have to do it all yourself.  We are social creatures.  Sometimes the person who is always there for someone else needs someone to be there for them.  Are you feeling guilty for receiving support?  Your support partner may need your help one day too.  You are worthy of support.

Choose someone who gets you.  There’s no point choosing support that doesn’t agree with what you are doing and will constantly criticise you along the way.

Hang in there.  Goals take perseverance to achieve – ask anyone who reached theirs.

I wish you the best with your goal.  Let us know how this advice helped you reach it.

Eve
 


If you live in Johannesburg, don’t forget to register for the Power of Purpose which starts on the 16th of August

7 mistakes people make at work and how to change that

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Do you drive yourself to prove that you are a good person because you want to gain the approval of others?

So many of us do so don’t feel alone…..

Here are 7 mistakes people make at work:

  • Trying so hard
  • Working after hours
  • Taking work home
  • Saying yes to every request even if you know a fellow colleague who could do the assignment
  • Taking the blame for others’ mistakes
  • Being a “good girl” or “good boy”
  • Feeling hurt when you get moaned at and then berating yourself on top of that

Let’s look at how to rectify these situations:

Trying so hard to please
Yes of course you must work hard otherwise your boss may not value your contribution to the firm but do you have to try so hard to please his or her every whim?  Do you find yourself doing more than is necessary and then feeling resentful afterwards?  Do your best within the boundaries of your job.  Be the best that you can be which doesn’t mean bending over backwards if gymnastics is not your forte.  If you find yourself ironing your boss’s shirts when your job description doesn’t call for it, then maybe this area is a problem for you.

Working after hours
Every so often when pressure mounts it is in good form to work after hours.  But are you working late every day to prove how loyal and dedicated you are?  What you are really doing is building up piles of resentment when your boss starts taking advantage of your benevolence.  You probably ask yourself why you keep doing it and thinking it would “look bad” to stop now when you’ve been doing it for so long.  Work after hours when it is needed, the rest of the time go and do what you need to do in your own life.  If you are always the last to leave, ask yourself why?

Taking work home
Same as above.  You are not a superhero although you may wish to appear like one, so take work home when there’s hectic pressure at work but don’t make a habit of it.  Nobody ever said on their deathbed (although I don’t have proof for this) “I wish I had worked more”.  No!  They wish they had spent more time with the people they love.

Saying yes to every request
You know how you really want your boss to be happy with you so you keep saying yes and the piles of work keep adding up?  You find you can’t actually get to everything no matter how hard you try.  You fear he or she is going to think you are useless at your job.  If the work is too much for one person to handle, think of a colleague who would be able to do that task just as well as you can.  Stop worrying that he or she may do it better than you for fear that this will show you up.  If they do it better than you, that’s one more task you can tick off your list because they will be asked next time as well.  Your boss will thank you for it when you get your other work done and your colleague also gets their work done.  It’s a win-win situation really.

Taking the blame for others’ mistakes
Why?  Let people take responsibility for their own mistakes.  On the odd occasion if your department’s “life depends on it” then fine, but otherwise…. NO!

Being a “good girl” or “good boy”
The need to be “good” is derived from our childhood.  Getting into trouble when we were kids was probably normal for most of us.  But the fear of that still drives many of us to be “good” all the time – don’t step out of line.  However, it’s not good for your health if you never speak up.  If something is unreasonable at work and you don’t speak up about it, notice how your throat area feels?  (tight / like there’s a lump in it / blocked / coughing / thyroid).  If keeping quiet is your default behaviour it could affect your health in the long term.  If you need to speak up but aren’t sure how to go about it, get advice.

Beating yourself up
So, you made a mistake.  Hopefully it didn’t incur a loss of millions.  Seriously, I hope it didn’t.  If it didn’t and you accidentally did something wrong, then sitting there calling yourself names (stupid / idiot / useless / incapable / unworthy / not good enough) is not going to fix the problem.  All it is going to do is mess with your self confidence which makes making more mistakes a possibility.  Forgive yourself – after all, you didn’t do it on purpose!  Then find a way to sort out the problem, possibly own up to it or get some intra-office support to sort it out.  You are human and most likely a good one at that.

Working on these seven tips will hopefully improve your time at work and outside of work.

What other areas do you struggle with at work or out of work?  I would love to hear from you.

I wish you well.

Eve

 


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