What I’ve realised about boundaries in the last few years is that people who get upset about others’ boundaries would never think twice about keeping their own.
Setting boundaries is a matter of self respect. It’s about saying YES to you.
If you struggle with boundary setting you will most likely find yourself saying yes even when you want to say no. You probably put everyone else first even when you are burnt out, exhausted and resentful.
Some people seem to have no qualms about overstepping or plain ignoring your boundaries – however if you have allowed these boundaries for a long time they may not even realise that they are doing so.
If you want certain boundaries you have to set them first. Unfortunately nobody can read your mind. Unless you tell people or demonstrate your wishes and make them clear, people will continue to do what they have always been doing.
Do you know where your boundaries are? Maybe you haven’t really thought about it. Ask yourself what you are and are not willing to accept. Once you know what your boundaries are you can begin to put them in place.
Be firm and consistent. It won’t change overnight and may even cause friction at first especially if you have been allowing certain behaviours for a long time. When the person realises that you mean business their behaviour will slowly start to change. Remember if you’ve been allowing someone to treat you a certain way for 20 years, it will take time to undo.
Caring about yourself is a necessity, you’re the only person who can. Excess stress can make you ill and caring about your well-being is imperative to being healthy.
Be kind to yourself and others.