The Magic of Beginnings

Gallery

change - butterflies“And suddenly you know…. it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings”

Today I realised something about myself that I hadn’t realised before.  I’ve been acting in a certain way that bothers me if others do it.  A remarkable woman I know revealed this to me and with an uncomfortable giggle I admitted she was right.

I’m grateful she showed me where I’m going wrong because it’s not how I want to be.  I could continue in my old ways of course (which is the easier option) and enable others to do the same or I could leap into the unknown which is a bit scary but has exciting possibilities and that’s the route I’d rather take.

I’m trusting the magic of beginnings, I’m trusting that the path I’m taking will lead me closer to where I want to be as a person.  It most likely won’t be all clear sailing because when I change myself there are adjustments to be made by everyone involved and people – generally speaking – don’t like change.

It’s hard to look at ourselves sometimes but if we take the challenge there’s so much to look forward to.

I’m excited about this!

With love
Eve

One small step or one giant leap

Gallery

purpose-one-small-stepYou can spend all your time wishing for something but unless you actually put a step into motion nothing will happen.

It all starts with imagination which is the beginning of something possible happening. After the idea you will need to have the intention of making it happen.

Intention though is not enough on it’s own because an intention without action is just a daydream.

Whatever your goals are, let them be realistic.  It’s better to set a goal to exercise once a week than in your excitement saying you will exercise every day because small movements forward are much more likely to be followed through.

Know yourself when you set your goals.

In the Power of Purpose course (starting next Tuesday in Johannesburg) we go into depth with goals, dreams, intentions, action, what’s stopping us and how to change that.  We also look at deeper intentions and purpose for our lives.  I highly recommend it.

Wishing you a week of taking small steps in a positive direction.  I would love to hear from you so let me know how it goes.

 

My Perfect Partner

Gallery

perfect-partner-statueAt some stage of your life you have probably looked at other peoples’ relationships and thought “Wow, they look so happy all the time / respectful of each other / in love / thoughtful / romantic”.

That’s the part of their relationship that they show to the world.  The rest is hidden.

Most peoples’ ideal partner is based on unrealistic expectations which come from stories, movies, songs and books.

So, is there a perfect partner?

Yes.  In front of you.

Look at the person you are with because that is most likely your perfect partner, the one that’s right for you to help you grow and become a better human**.

The way to realise the perfection of your partner is to firstly love and accept yourself as you are and then do the same for your partner.  Love and accept them as they are.  If you make this choice to work on your relationship you will notice how gratifying it is when things work out well.

Relationships never happen in a straight line.
Sometimes they are easy and sometimes they are hard.  Every relationship requires effort and self growth.

Think about what you want in this relationship and then make it happen.  If you want flowers but your partner is not that way inclined there is no point in getting upset about it because that won’t change things at all.  Ask for the flowers so that you get them.  If you want more talk time together, initiate it. Let your partner know how important they are to you and how when you spend time with them you feel loved.  If you want to be more appreciated, show appreciation for him/her.  Take a look at yourself and be honest.  How often do you really show appreciation for your partner?

The perfect partner is most likely the one you’ve got.  The perfect person however, does not exist.

I wish you a week of growth and love, accepting your partner for who he or she is, noticing the beauty in their eyes and realising how lucky you really are.

With love
Eve

**I’m not referring to abusive relationships

If you are not currently in a romantic relationship this can also apply to any type of relationship in your life.

Feeding the Baboons

Gallery

fears-feed-the-fearsWhen holidaying near wild life you will see many signs saying “please do not feed the monkeys / baboons” and you still see people doing it.  There are notices saying that if the baboons get used to human food they become dangerous as they will do anything to get that food when they want it, yet people still feed them.  The notice says that when the baboons get dangerous they will be shot and yet people still feed them.  It’s very upsetting.

Feeding your fears is something like feeding the monkeys.  The more you feed your fears the more fearful you get and the less you are able to cope in various situations.  Your fears start to take over and before you know it you are living according to your fears.  Rational thought goes out the window and anxiety is the order of the day.

The acronym for F.E.A.R is False Evidence Appearing Real.

baboonWhat this means is that what you think is going to happen seems as though it is really going to happen and therefore you believe it to be real.  The mind doesn’t know whether it is real or not so it starts to send off hormones to alert the body of danger.  However, if you think about it carefully you will notice that most of our fears are unfounded.  Most worries never happen.

If we focus all our energy on what we fear, it could eventually come true because what we focus on expands and if we are living our fear then it can start to become real for us.

If you think you are broke (even if you have enough money to survive), you will always feel broke.  I met a woman once who was complaining about her lack of money and material wealth.  When I was invited to her house for a party I couldn’t believe the size of the house!  Seriously, it was one of the biggest houses that I had seen in the area.  However, in her mind she didn’t have enough and she feared that she would never have enough and so even though she was living a life of abundance she didn’t see it for herself and always felt “poor”.

People have fears about all sorts of things and it is actually like living in a prison.  They can’t move forward or even sideways.  They just stay in one place, afraid of what the future will bring (and the future could be tomorrow or in an hour’s time).

At one stage I was really petrified of the security situation in our country.  I had been the victim of crime previously and I couldn’t sleep at night.  I spent each night fearing the worst.  A good friend of mine suggested that I look at the facts.  The facts were we had various security measures in place so I wrote down a list of all these security measures and after that I felt a lot better.  I use that tool now and again when I need it.

Fear can appear real but it’s nearly always about the future and we can’t know what the future will bring.

So instead of feeding your fears, look at the facts and focus on that instead.

With love

Eve

Waiting for Friday

Gallery

waiting-for-fridayI remember when I was in my 20’s and I was thinking about having a baby……  My husband and I were worried that we wouldn’t be able to afford all the new expenses and thought we should rather wait until we could afford it.    One of the ladies at my work at the time said to me “You will never be ready…. If you wait until you are ready you will never have children”.  I took her advice to heart and am so glad and blessed that I did.

I have a friend who hardly ever went swimming because she wanted to wait until she was thin.  I thought she looked quite lovely but she didn’t accept herself.  When her kids were young she used to sit on the side of the pool and wouldn’t join them because she was too self conscious.  She missed out on all those cool and fun moments!

On a Monday people complain about it being Monday and can’t wait until Friday.  What about finding a way to make the whole week meaningful or enjoyable?

I’ll start my exercise programme on Monday.  Umm… what about today?  🙂

Waiting for things to be better first is counterproductive.   What happens if things never turn out the way we hope they will?

There are so many challenges that people have in life – be it illness, finances, relationships, etc.so why not take those challenges and find a way to accept them and make them work for us?

happy-lamaI think acceptance is the main building block that we need in order to move forward.  Without acceptance, we can’t move on.

Challenge your inner beliefs.  If you think things have to be a certain way first, ask yourself if that belief will serve you.  Beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world around us are not always true.  For example “I have to be very helpful all the time otherwise people won’t like me”.
How will you know if you haven’t experimented with saying no sometimes?
Perhaps some of your friends will leave you but those are the ones who were using you in the first place.

Try this:

Let go of your expectations of how life is supposed to be.  Accept what is.

  1. Make a choice to thrive despite the challenges.
  2. Look for ways to thrive.  Write down lots of ideas.
  3. Pick one and start doing it.

Sometimes it helps to have a coach who can help you sort through these questions in your life, it’s good to have an objective point of view.

May you have a week in which you are not waiting for Friday.

With love

Eve

Self Indulgence Self Sabotage

Gallery

procrastinate-hitting-snooze

* Does that extra half an hour lying in bed stop you from doing something else?
* Sitting around with coffee and facebook a bit longer than you were planning to?
* Do you find yourself rushing around a lot and still getting to places late?
* Do you give yourself treats a bit too often?
* Do you buy expensive things when the budget is low?

When you are wanting a new way of being for yourself and work towards getting it but find yourself sabotaging your efforts, it could be that you are self indulging.  There are many reasons for not doing what we are wanting to do, reaching our goals and living life well, I’m just going to focus on self indulgence for today.

There’s nothing wrong with lying in bed for ½ hour longer if you don’t have other things that you are wanting to accomplish.  There’s also nothing wrong with treating yourself to ½ hour longer in bed now and then.  It’s when it becomes a habit and messes up your day or many days because you are rushing around and arriving late for commitments and getting less of the important stuff done on a consistent basis.

Consistent self indulgence is self sabotaging

  • Reaching for the sugary treats when we know that we don’t logically need them and then staring at the scale in horror as if it is the scale’s fault!
  • Watching You-tube videos or browsing the internet instead of getting ready in the morning and then being late for an appointment – then moaning at yourself and feeling hopeless about often being late.
  • Saying “I will start exercising tomorrow” everyday and somehow never getting around to it.
  • Procrastinating on a work project because it’s too hard or too boring and then rushing like a maniac to get it finished at the last minute.

 

Can you notice the self sabotage?  Can you see yourself in any of these scenarios?

Of course we should treat ourselves and live life happily but it would benefit us more to balance that pleasure with self discipline, prioritising, being organised and responsible.

What do you think?  (I’m genuinely interested and would love to have your input).

With love

Eve

Click here for info on the work I do…

#stressmustfall

Gallery

burnout-you-can-do-anything-but-not-everythingYou don’t have to do everything yourself.  There may be tons to done but you don’t have to be a martyr or a hero and do it all.  Ask for the support you need.

At work delegate a task to someone else.  At home ask your family to get involved.  It’s excellent to teach your children these skills anyway.  You may have to let go of the need to control the situation because it might not turn out exactly as you had anticipated but you could find a lot of satisfaction, camaraderie and connection by letting others get involved.

Why do you choose to take on most (if not all) of the work?  Could you be trying to please people?  Do you think you are the only one who can do a proper job?  Do you want to receive all the praise?  Do you get too many arguments when you ask for help and so it’s just easier to get it done yourself?  Is there more mess afterwards if others do it?

If you take on too much it becomes exhausting and stressful.  Let go of high expectations, give good instructions and check how they are managing from time to time.  The letting go will involve some trust.  They may not do it exactly your way but it might come out perfectly well.  In fact you could be pleasantly surprised.

helpful-kids-2If others don’t want to co-operate (for example your children) you may need to make it more fun.  Turn the task into a game or a race.

If you do everything by yourself, you become depleted, tired and moody.  It’s not pleasant for you or anyone around you.  Do yourself a favour and give some of it up to someone else.  Put your feet up a bit and relax (and don’t feel guilty about it) or just slow down somewhat.

Remember to say thank you (even if the job turns out less than perfect).

Warmest regards

Eve