We deceive ourselves by making up stories in our heads. Here are two examples.
- Peggy was concerned because a good friend of hers seemed to be ignoring her text messages and not replying to any of them. She started getting anxious thinking something was wrong. When we analysed it together we noticed that the thoughts that had been going on Peggy’s mind were along the lines of: she’s purposefully ignoring me; I must have upset her; she doesn’t like me anymore, I’m not loveable. The truth is we don’t know any of those to be true, we make stories up and believe them as though they are real. How can we know if she’s purposefully ignoring her or if she’s upset or doesn’t like her anymore, maybe she’s just busy.
- Lulu saw someone at the shop and the person looked her up and down in what seemed to be a disapproving manner. Lulu had already been feeling self conscious that morning having eaten a half a slab of chocolate the night before.The thoughts that she had unconsciously been thinking were: I look terrible today; I’ve put on 3 kilos from the chocolate I ate;this woman knows and she’s thinking that I have no self discipline; I’m a terrible person. Now all of these thoughts that Lulu thought are unverified and therefore the answer to them is unknown. How on earth could she know what this random stranger was thinking? For all she knows the woman saw the colour she was wearing and was thinking of her ex-husband whose current girlfriend had a dress in that colour.We never know what other people are thinking.
I do not mean to undermine Peggy’s or Lulu’s experiences here. I am trying to demonstrate how we subconsciously think thoughts that seem real to us and we get freaked out. These thoughts however, are just thoughts. Often though they relate to experiences we have had previously in our lives which trigger us (almost like flicking a light switch on) and it’s as if we are reliving that same moment from many many years ago. These experiences can be unravelled and put into perspective with someone who has experience in this area.
We continue to deceive ourselves and make our lives a misery by thinking thoughts and believing everything we think to be true.
If you want help to unpack your thoughts and work through them, to see what is plaguing you, please contact me by clicking here.
All the best