Recovery from Drudgery

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change your own world - barbwire turning into birdsSteve Jobs said:  “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, don’t settle.”

So how do you do great work if you don’t love what you do?

Find a way to love or at least like a part of it. Here are a few ideas.

* Have a purpose for what you are doing.  Decide what it is you are going for – (If you haven’t done the Power of Purpose course you may wish to consider it as an option).
* Write a list of what you like about your work – maybe it’s the people or the coffee or the view out of your window or the organising.
* Write a list of what you dislike about your job.  Now take that list and try and find ways to change a few of them.
* Why are you doing what you are doing?  Your answers may give you clarity.
thoughts - there is always a way* If you are struggling with relationships at work consider getting a coach to help you through.
* Make a difference in someone else’s life at work.  Giving of yourself to others – even if it’s a pleasant smile or a heartfelt ear – builds you up as well as being pleasurable.
* If you have an opportunity to work towards what you really want in your life then set a goal and start working towards it.   The best time to begin was 5 years ago but if you didn’t, then begin now.

Keep in mind that even if you start off doing what you really love, it can still become drudgery and “just a job” if you don’t add purpose to it.

Wishing you well

Eve

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One small step or one giant leap

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purpose-one-small-stepYou can spend all your time wishing for something but unless you actually put a step into motion nothing will happen.

It all starts with imagination which is the beginning of something possible happening. After the idea you will need to have the intention of making it happen.

Intention though is not enough on it’s own because an intention without action is just a daydream.

Whatever your goals are, let them be realistic.  It’s better to set a goal to exercise once a week than in your excitement saying you will exercise every day because small movements forward are much more likely to be followed through.

Know yourself when you set your goals.

In the Power of Purpose course (starting next Tuesday in Johannesburg) we go into depth with goals, dreams, intentions, action, what’s stopping us and how to change that.  We also look at deeper intentions and purpose for our lives.  I highly recommend it.

Wishing you a week of taking small steps in a positive direction.  I would love to hear from you so let me know how it goes.

 

Decisions Decisions!

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decision-signsFor some of us making decisions is extremely difficult and can paralyse us into doing nothing or lie down staring at the ceiling and talking in tongues ;).  From something important like choosing a career to something small and innocuous like choosing what to cook for your guests for dinner.  How do we decide what to do?

I was listening to Rabbi Tatz’s lecture on decision making and here are some ideas he shared.  I thought they were on point and useful.

When you have to choose between two things for example two job opportunities (we should all be so lucky) but can obviously only take one, which one will you take?

Divide your page into two columns.  In one column write JOB 1 and in the second column write JOB 2.  Under each column write the pros and cons of each job.  (Yes this sounds basic but wait……).

Now, next to each pro and con, put a score out of 10 (see my example below).  10 means it appeals to you and will make a positive difference to your life, 1 means it does not appeal to you and will make a negative difference to your life.

JOB 1 JOB 2
PROS CONS PROS CONS
Tea lady brings drinks throughout the day
4/10
1 hour drive in peak hour traffic
2/10
Fancy coffee machine in a sociable area
6/10 (love fancy coffee)
45 minutes drive in peak hour traffic
4/10
The staff seem quite nice
7/10
The office I will get has no window
4/10
The staff seem motivated and professional
7/10
The office I will get I have to share with someone who has strong political ideas 2/10
Good salary
8/10
Not much responsibility
5/10
Excellent salary
10/10
There’s a lot of badmouthing among co-workers
3/10
The hours are 9 – 5

7/10

High turnover of staff
2/10
I would be responsible for 5 people which would be good for my growth and CV
8/10
The hours are 9 – 5 but it’s expected for you to work overtime without extra payment
4/10
26 13 31 13
Total 39 Total 44

decision-scalesAfter this evaluation, according to Rabbi Tatz, you would choose the highest total which is JOB 2.  Obviously you would go into more depth with the pros and cons – I have only typed up a few examples.

Now here comes something interesting that he says…. If both of them add up to an equal number i.e. 50/50, you just choose any one.  You can even flip a coin because in reality they are both equally good for you.  That one was a “wow” to me.

Did you find this helpful?

Wishing you a good decision making week.

Eve

The Blind Spot

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judging-before-you-assume-ask-squareDo you ever wish that you would have just kept quiet and asked questions rather than jump to conclusions?  Whenever I jump to conclusions it doesn’t end well.

I think the reason for this is that we judge a situation by our perception or experience of it from our point of view and how can we know what is really going on unless we are in the other person’s mind?

So many disputes take place because of this blind spot which is basically misunderstanding.  We can think we know why the other person does what they do but it’s not based on reality, it’s based on guessing.

gavel-3I have regretted talking too soon so many times in the past that it has almost become a silent rule to ask first.  I hate making the mistake of judging someone wrongly and then having to apologise afterwards.  Do you ever feel this way?

I can feel the feelings of anger welling up and my tongue about to spit out it’s defamation when suddenly I stop myself because I notice the signs.  The signs are my feelings of anger.  I just know I’m going to make a mistake if I don’t ask first.

Once it’s out.  It’s too late.

So that ‘s what I do (most of the time).  I ask first.  I’ve learned my lesson.  I hope.

With love
Eve

Feeding the Baboons

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fears-feed-the-fearsWhen holidaying near wild life you will see many signs saying “please do not feed the monkeys / baboons” and you still see people doing it.  There are notices saying that if the baboons get used to human food they become dangerous as they will do anything to get that food when they want it, yet people still feed them.  The notice says that when the baboons get dangerous they will be shot and yet people still feed them.  It’s very upsetting.

Feeding your fears is something like feeding the monkeys.  The more you feed your fears the more fearful you get and the less you are able to cope in various situations.  Your fears start to take over and before you know it you are living according to your fears.  Rational thought goes out the window and anxiety is the order of the day.

The acronym for F.E.A.R is False Evidence Appearing Real.

baboonWhat this means is that what you think is going to happen seems as though it is really going to happen and therefore you believe it to be real.  The mind doesn’t know whether it is real or not so it starts to send off hormones to alert the body of danger.  However, if you think about it carefully you will notice that most of our fears are unfounded.  Most worries never happen.

If we focus all our energy on what we fear, it could eventually come true because what we focus on expands and if we are living our fear then it can start to become real for us.

If you think you are broke (even if you have enough money to survive), you will always feel broke.  I met a woman once who was complaining about her lack of money and material wealth.  When I was invited to her house for a party I couldn’t believe the size of the house!  Seriously, it was one of the biggest houses that I had seen in the area.  However, in her mind she didn’t have enough and she feared that she would never have enough and so even though she was living a life of abundance she didn’t see it for herself and always felt “poor”.

People have fears about all sorts of things and it is actually like living in a prison.  They can’t move forward or even sideways.  They just stay in one place, afraid of what the future will bring (and the future could be tomorrow or in an hour’s time).

At one stage I was really petrified of the security situation in our country.  I had been the victim of crime previously and I couldn’t sleep at night.  I spent each night fearing the worst.  A good friend of mine suggested that I look at the facts.  The facts were we had various security measures in place so I wrote down a list of all these security measures and after that I felt a lot better.  I use that tool now and again when I need it.

Fear can appear real but it’s nearly always about the future and we can’t know what the future will bring.

So instead of feeding your fears, look at the facts and focus on that instead.

With love

Eve

Waiting for Friday

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waiting-for-fridayI remember when I was in my 20’s and I was thinking about having a baby……  My husband and I were worried that we wouldn’t be able to afford all the new expenses and thought we should rather wait until we could afford it.    One of the ladies at my work at the time said to me “You will never be ready…. If you wait until you are ready you will never have children”.  I took her advice to heart and am so glad and blessed that I did.

I have a friend who hardly ever went swimming because she wanted to wait until she was thin.  I thought she looked quite lovely but she didn’t accept herself.  When her kids were young she used to sit on the side of the pool and wouldn’t join them because she was too self conscious.  She missed out on all those cool and fun moments!

On a Monday people complain about it being Monday and can’t wait until Friday.  What about finding a way to make the whole week meaningful or enjoyable?

I’ll start my exercise programme on Monday.  Umm… what about today?  🙂

Waiting for things to be better first is counterproductive.   What happens if things never turn out the way we hope they will?

There are so many challenges that people have in life – be it illness, finances, relationships, etc.so why not take those challenges and find a way to accept them and make them work for us?

happy-lamaI think acceptance is the main building block that we need in order to move forward.  Without acceptance, we can’t move on.

Challenge your inner beliefs.  If you think things have to be a certain way first, ask yourself if that belief will serve you.  Beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world around us are not always true.  For example “I have to be very helpful all the time otherwise people won’t like me”.
How will you know if you haven’t experimented with saying no sometimes?
Perhaps some of your friends will leave you but those are the ones who were using you in the first place.

Try this:

Let go of your expectations of how life is supposed to be.  Accept what is.

  1. Make a choice to thrive despite the challenges.
  2. Look for ways to thrive.  Write down lots of ideas.
  3. Pick one and start doing it.

Sometimes it helps to have a coach who can help you sort through these questions in your life, it’s good to have an objective point of view.

May you have a week in which you are not waiting for Friday.

With love

Eve

Self Indulgence Self Sabotage

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procrastinate-hitting-snooze

* Does that extra half an hour lying in bed stop you from doing something else?
* Sitting around with coffee and facebook a bit longer than you were planning to?
* Do you find yourself rushing around a lot and still getting to places late?
* Do you give yourself treats a bit too often?
* Do you buy expensive things when the budget is low?

When you are wanting a new way of being for yourself and work towards getting it but find yourself sabotaging your efforts, it could be that you are self indulging.  There are many reasons for not doing what we are wanting to do, reaching our goals and living life well, I’m just going to focus on self indulgence for today.

There’s nothing wrong with lying in bed for ½ hour longer if you don’t have other things that you are wanting to accomplish.  There’s also nothing wrong with treating yourself to ½ hour longer in bed now and then.  It’s when it becomes a habit and messes up your day or many days because you are rushing around and arriving late for commitments and getting less of the important stuff done on a consistent basis.

Consistent self indulgence is self sabotaging

  • Reaching for the sugary treats when we know that we don’t logically need them and then staring at the scale in horror as if it is the scale’s fault!
  • Watching You-tube videos or browsing the internet instead of getting ready in the morning and then being late for an appointment – then moaning at yourself and feeling hopeless about often being late.
  • Saying “I will start exercising tomorrow” everyday and somehow never getting around to it.
  • Procrastinating on a work project because it’s too hard or too boring and then rushing like a maniac to get it finished at the last minute.

 

Can you notice the self sabotage?  Can you see yourself in any of these scenarios?

Of course we should treat ourselves and live life happily but it would benefit us more to balance that pleasure with self discipline, prioritising, being organised and responsible.

What do you think?  (I’m genuinely interested and would love to have your input).

With love

Eve

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