People hurt each other. It happens to everyone. Intentionally, unintentionally, regretfully or not. It’s a part of what we do as people. The beauty is that we have the ability to heal and forgive. – Adi Alsaid
They hurt you…. why do they even deserve forgiveness?
Forgiving someone is more for yourself than for them. Ask yourself this…. When you hold on to the pain, the hurt and the anger, who are you really punishing? Not speaking to someone or being snide or being vengeful does not hurt them as much as it hurts you. In fact they might not even know that you are holding on to this stuff.
When you forgive someone you are choosing to let go of the anger, hatred or ill will that you are holding towards a person in order that you can heal from this wound. Forgiveness does not excuse their actions, forgiveness prevents their actions from hurting you further.
Why should you forgive them after all they have done to you?
Think of an open wound. If you don’t clean up the wound, disinfect it and check on it, it will fester and get worse and worse, it could even become dangerous. If neglected long enough a wound can kill a person.
When we hold bitter indignation towards someone for a long time it’s like an internal wound. The other person is not getting sick, we are. They might not even know we have the wound. We are effectively poisoning our own body.
Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to abuse you over and over again. That’s where boundaries come in.
If you want to forgive someone but can’t, get the help you need to do it.