Self Care Box


self care boxLife seems so busy lately.  I typed this around midnight last night because I didn’t have a chance to do it earlier in the day.  I even fell asleep while typing.

After working on my website, helping out a friend, shopping and lift schemes, I put supper on the stove and felt exhausted.  I knew that what I needed most was to lie down but did I have the time?  It was 7:30 p.m.

I realised that what I needed most at that moment was self care.  This is something I am learning to do for myself more and more.  Putting others first is my default.

So I switched off the lights (and weirdly enough the dogs stopped wrestling), lay down, closed my eyes and just breathed for 10 minutes.

Afterwards I showered and felt so much better. By the time I went to check on the food it was ready.

What I see from the women in my life is that they are always doing for others and hardly ever take time to do for themselves**.  I know that I can still be up late at night, letting the pets out and waiting for them to come back inside, locking up, checking on the kids, making sure all the lights are off etc. while everyone else has been sleeping for over an hour already.

I don’t know what you are like when you don’t give yourself enough self care but I can get irritable, resentful, hungry for junk food, tired, fed up.

So here’s a cool and ready-to-use idea to remind you about self care when you find you need it.

Create a Self Care Box which is  box of things which make you feel loved and nurtured.

grunge texture, distressed funky backgroundThese are some things that I would put in my box.  Personalise your own.

  • A list of all the things you can do for yourself when you feel tired or crabby (e.g. have a bath, lie down, go for a walk, play with the pets, dance to your favourite song, lie under a tree, walk on the grass, etc.).
  • A favourite book that you like dipping into
  • Aromatherapy oil
  • A soft piece of fabric or a plush toy that you like to touch
  • Hand cream
  • A small chocolate
  • Bath salts
  • Face mask
  • A journal with perhaps some writing prompts
  • A pen and drawing equipment
  • Some favourite photos
  • Positive affirmations
  • A USB drive with photos and videos and/or music
  • An inspirational coffee mug
  • A hot water bottle
  • Cotton socks
  • Headphones
  • A tea bag
  • A crystal
  • Tissues
  • A phone number of someone you can call for support

Keep the box somewhere where you can see it.  Open it whenever you feel a bit down or irritable or out-of-kilter or once a day!  Most of the time you will find that just doing something caring for yourself even if it’s for 15 minutes will go a long way to changing your mood and your energy.

You are valuable and worthy of self care and time for yourself.
With love

**To my male readers, let me know if this is different for you. 

p.s. I’ve updated my website, I would love it if you would have a look.


Your Vision – A Life Hack


change-rose-budI’ve been reading The Breakthrough Experience by Dr John F. Demartini (non-fiction).  He tells his story about how he made it from being told by his grade 1 teacher that he would never be able to read, write or communicate and that he would never amount to anything…. to becoming a world renowned writer and communicator, having written 40 books so far and talking in most countries around the world for most of the year motivating, inspiring and changing people’s lives.

There’s so much to write about what he says but one of the stories that struck me this past week is about affirmations.  John dropped out of school and left home when he was 14 and when he was 17 he met a 93 year old man who helped him to see his vision for his life which was related to being an orator and speaking to millions of people about universal laws and spiritual healing.  He asked the man (Mr Bragg) how he would be able to actualise his vision if he was practically illiterate.  The man advised him to keep saying to himself (with conviction) every day of his life, for the rest of his life “I am a genius and I apply my wisdom”.  He said that once this affirmation becomes part of every cell in his body, the people around him would start to believe it too and would react accordingly.  He decided then to go back home and learn to read and finish school.  With the help of tutors he received his matric equivalent and wrote University entrance exams.  Two years later he was studying for his calculus exam in the library and one of his classmates asked him if he could study with him.  He said sure and before he knew it there were a whole lot of guys from his class sitting around the table studying with him and asking him questions.  He heard one guy whisper to another guy “That guy John, he’s a genius.  He’s a friggin’ genius”.  After hearing this John suddenly realised with a tear in his eye that his impossible dream was starting to become a reality.

change-energy-you-want-to-attractYou can also have an affirmation for yourself that you say with meaning and intention.  An affirmation that is particularly suited to you.  Say it every day, many times a day until it becomes part of you and then keep saying it.

Your affirmation must resonate with you and fit you.  You can choose your own or I can help you and we can work together to find the one that works best for you related to your specific circumstances.

Wishing you a week of building yourself (and others) up.

Nothing happened!


writerQuestion 1:  If you didn’t have to worry about money what type of work would you do?

I know a great person with creative ideas who loves books and knows he has an amazing book inside him just waiting to come out but he hasn’t written one page!

I would like to win a million rand in the lottery but I hardly ever buy a ticket.

When we think and think and think about doing something but don’t act on it – NOTHING HAPPENS.

Question 2 … Is it something you could actually do?

What is stopping you?  Are you thinking that you could never do it?  Are you thinking that you are not good enough?  Not worthy?  Incapable of ever being a success?

Now that I’m in my late 40’s I’m finding more and more that I want to do things that I haven’t ever acted on.  I’m saving up for those singing lessons.  But let me tell you that when I do start to take those  lessons I have actually no care about if I will ever “succeed” in the eyes of others.  I’m not trying to be a famous singer, I just want to learn the skill and breathe well and have fun.  I want to sing for me.

I do hope that great man writes his first page of his novel, and then the next and then the next.  He doesn’t have to make millions out of it, that’s not the point.  The point is to say to himself “I did what I always dreamed I would do”.

Don’t think, think, think and think that you can’t do it or it couldn’t happen for you.  What’s life for if not to experience?

Live as if money isn’t an object when it comes to starting to realise your dreams.  If money is tight right now and you’ve always wanted to be an artist, buy a pencil and a drawing pad and start.  Or paint with one or two colours of ink using a cotton bud.  Don’t let your inhibitions and self judgement stop you.   If you want to be a tennis player but can only afford one lesson a month, find a teacher who will accommodate you and practise against your garden wall.

So what if you don’t become the next world champion….. just be a champion to yourself for starting.

With love



Click here for a step up towards your dream…….


The Car Guard who studied Medicine


Victor Frankl 1I met a man recently in the parking lot when I popped into the shop to buy a few things.  He has lived in this country for 7 years.  He comes from the DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo) and was studying medicine at University there.   After his father died, he came to South Africa, possibly to try and make a living to help his family (I didn’t want to pry) and had to become a car guard.  There’s nothing wrong with being a car guard, it’s just that they don’t earn much.  Finally after 7 years of being in the country, one or more kind benefactor(s) helped him out and now he is studying IT at Boston City Campus part time.  In March next year he will be finished and he’s very excited about it.

He has an engaging, positive and friendly personality and is always willing to help come rain or shine.  Once when it was pouring with rain he walked beside me with his red umbrella making sure I didn’t get wet while walking to my car.  He seems to make the most of his day by working hard and being of service.

This is a story about never giving up and about living with purpose.  Even though his circumstances were probably dire and at the beginning healthy food and a place to stay might have been hard to come by, he persevered.

We are often quick to give up on our dreams, visions or ideas because they seem so hard to turn into reality.  Even every day life can seem too difficult to bear.  For some, getting out of bed in the morning is a battle.

Victor Frankl, who wrote Man’s search for Meaning wrote about how when he was in a concentration camp during the 2nd world war, he noticed that the people who survived were the ones who had a purpose to go home to at the end of the war.  Nobody knew who they would find after the war and many knew they had lost everything and everyone, but some people, Dr Frankl included, found something to live for and that was a purpose that they had affirmed for themselves.

Today, if we recognise that we have something to live for, something meaningful and worthwhile, it helps us to get out of bed in the morning and go about the seemingly repetitive type of life that many tend to live.

When I was in my late 20’s, I was working in an office and my toddler was being looked after by my mom (for which I am grateful*).  However, I wanted to look after her myself.  I wanted to hear her first word or see her take her first step.  One day while typing out some correspondence, I gazed out the window and thought to myself – “What am I doing here?”.  I don’t mean on earth, I mean in the office.  The work I was doing seemed meaningless, as if by doing it, I was making no difference in anybody’s life.  It was soon after that, that I cashed in my pension money, paid off some debts and quit my job so that I could get a half day position and be with my daughter.**

For me it was about believing I had a purpose.  Originally we didn’t have the money for me to leave my job as we had accumulated debts, but we found a way and my husband supported me in this***.  It was important to me and we made a plan.

When it seems there’s too much hopelessness or meaninglessness in your life, perhaps you are missing or ignoring your purpose.  I say ignoring because our body actually gives out signals.  Those signals for me felt like boredom, dissatisfaction, frustration and sadness. You might  have others.

If you find yourself binging on food, drugs, alcohol, internet, gambling, television, etc. it could be that you are avoiding your soul’s calling to you.

Making the decision to follow my destiny has changed my life in so many ways and led me on interesting and adventurous paths.  Some good, some not as good – but always going forward.

I wish you a purposeful day, year, life.


I appreciate you

The Phenomena of the reading children


L - Reading in carMy son who is 10, is an avid reader, like the rest of his family.  The minute he gets into the car after school, he opens his book and starts to read.  To me it can be a bit annoying at times because what am I – a taxi driver?  I wouldn’t mind a bit of conversation.  I was worried it was a bit anti-social because how can he communicate with the other boys when he is concentrating on reading?

Anyway, today he was feeling sick and I fetched him early from school.  I still had to do the afternoon lift for the other boys though.

As one of the boys got into the back of the car, he said “I think I’m going to try what Lee does”.  I thought he was going to say “phone my mom and go home early”.  Instead he said “I’m going to try read”.  Lo and behold the boy in the front seat decided he was going to try too.  They were worried they would be nauseous from the motion.  They were fine.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.  Total silence and two 10 year olds reading in my car.  Apparently, “everybody” in their class is reading the Alex Rider series (by Anthony Horowitz).  I think I should read it too to see what’s so exciting about it.

This is called “good peer pressure”.  Actually I don’t know what it’s called but I think it’s great that these boys are loving reading.