Every now and then I get upset with myself for not doing something I should have or for doing something I shouldn’t have. For me it’s often about how I’ve been as a parent. I feel guilt and regret and think, if only I had done it differently.
Think about the person or situation that applies to you in this case.
Is it a given that things would have turned out well if you had done things in another way?
Well maybe you could have done things differently (there’s always scope for growth) and there is a possibility that the situation could have turned out better but how do you know that things would have turned out the way you think they should have?
Maybe not much would have changed or maybe the scenario would have gone in a completely different direction (good or bad). Maybe you worry a lot about things you can’t control. After all you can’t change what has already happened. At the most you can apologise and make amends and work at changing the way you behave now.
We have expectations about how life should be but life doesn’t happen in neat little packages. It happens the way it happens and we often have very little control of the outcome.
Instead of holding on to guilt of the past, rather spend your energy being the best you can be now. Beating yourself up is going to do nothing except give you bruises.